I feel so alone. My dd is 4 (turning 5 this year) all my mummy friends either have 1 expecting no.2 have mutiply or have one baby aged child. I literally know NO ONE with one child whose that little bit older.... but who still wants more. We so badly want another but after 2.5 years trying and 3 losses that feels like a distant dream. Would love to chat to other mummas with an only child who still want more.
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14-01-2015 21:36 #1
Are there any other mums to an only child NOT by choice??
14-01-2015 21:43 #2
Yep, it sucks - DS is 5 in October - all my friends have 2 or more kids as do my siblings and in laws, I am 43 so it's pretty much over for us , I go through times when I'm fine with it but even today I was with 2 friends and they both have 2 kids each and I love watching the bond the kids have with their little brothers and sisters and just get sad knowing DS will never experience that
14-01-2015 21:48 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
I have 4 friends with only one child; 2 by choice and 2 through losses and heartache. They're mums from my sons mothers group si kids will be 6 in march/April
14-01-2015 22:01 #4
Hi melimum. I too have been feeling alone lately and would love to chat to others. Everyone around me seems to be having their 2nd and 3rd babies. We have ds who is 19 months. It took us many years to conceive him and had to do ivf to get him. I would dearly love to have another baby but do not want to do ivf again. Too much of a emotional and physical toll. I am hoping by some miracle it happens naturally (fertility issues hubby ). But I just dont think it will happen and im closer to 40 than 30. Sometimes I think I am fine with it but then other times it really gets me down and I feel guilty that ds will not have a sibling. Other times I feel cheated that we never got to choose how many kids we would have. Many years before ds my dd was stillborn and then I had an early miscarriage. I keep telling myself ds is my miracle bub and I should just thank my lucky stars I have him but that yearning is still there. I try and tell myself all the positives of only having one child but I guess thats my walls going up and me trying to protect myself. I hope that all makes sense and I didnt ramble too much ☺
14-01-2015 22:09 #5
Hi. My dd is 5 and starting school in a couple of weeks. I always imagined taking her to her first day of school with a little brother or sister in toe.
I had fertility treatment to have dd and had one miscarriage a few years ago. Now dh is swaying back and forth on having another.
And yep, everyone else has gone on to have more kids.
14-01-2015 22:26 #6
I feel like it's all out of my hands since I separated. I never thought I'd have any children, so I try to be grateful, but I have to admit it does twinge at times when my friends start having more.
I'm 35 next week 😳😳😳😳😳😳 and sometimes I think if I meet someone well I'd have to take a risk and get into right away, or if that doesn't happen would I do it in my own, or am I truly happy with just the one? I don't know. My opinion on that changes like the Melbourne weather.
So sad to read of PP losses x
14-01-2015 23:04 #7
Yes I desperately want a large family. My DS is 5yr starting prep and I'm a single mum. Hopefully one day I'll meet someone, just lucky age is on my side.
14-01-2015 23:28 #8
It certainly is hard.
I always wanted another one ... I had major issues having DD so knew it might not happen, but was still devastated when I found out I couldnt have more.
Watching my friends have 2nd and 3rd babies was really hard
But you do kind of accept it. You learn to live with it, and only have those pangs every now and then ...
It takes a long time though
14-01-2015 23:32 #9
Big hugs everyone. It really is heartbreaking. I hate the "at least you have one" comments. I'm extremly grateful to have my dd and everyday I'm thankful but it doesnt make me stop wanting another. We are still ttc but we seem to have the odds stacked against us. Right now I try to focus the pros of having an only child, it helps (a little) to ease to ache for more.
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15-01-2015 07:09 #10
I'm sort of in this situation. DH and I thought we only would have one. We have one DD. But the risk of having another baby with the same syndrome and therfore the same high needs is very very high. So unless we want to go through a very expensive process of testing embryos and everything we will have just DD.
There is a part of me that would have liked to have the 'normal' baby experience. I don't have any friends who have just one child.
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