Thanks, I hope so too.
Regardless, it means a great deal to me, and I made sure he knew that. He was so happy that I was thrilled.
Hard to put into words, but it really is the small things.
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16-01-2015 17:12 #31
20-01-2015 11:25 #32
Any updates hun?
I hope your talk went well for you.
20-01-2015 12:53 #33
20-01-2015 15:22 #34
Hope your talk went well and you both could open up
20-01-2015 16:07 #35
Our chat went really well. We spoke for 3 hours Sat morning, and had questions for each other throughout the day.
It turns out, DH still has a high sex drive, but instead of utilising that with his willing wife, he was chatting to women online about it. It stayed online, except for once, when he met up with a woman. I have spoken to her and am confident that is didn't go passed talking.
DH has an appointment with a psychologist to work through the problem. He fully admitted that this is something he has done through all his relationships, and he never really believed it counted as cheating- as there was nothing physical. However, when I asked how he would feel if I was the one doing it, he panicked.
I have assured him that provided he stays honest, and sees someone to work through this need he has to be wanted, that I will stay with him. I have told him that I do consider what he did cheating, and i will also see someone to address this.
Oddly, I still trust him. I had some idea that he was flirting online, but not to this extent. While I am hurt, I am confident that we can work through it, and come out the other side intact.
We talked about postponing TTC, but neither of us want to do that. For now, we won't actively try to get pregnant, until we decide either way.
20-01-2015 17:38 #36-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Today I told my husband...
Awesome to hear you and hubby are communicating better now. And I admire your strength and compassion for not just giving your hubby the flick. At there same ... Eeek... Guys don't meet strange chicks just for coffee. Please use contraception until your hubby has proven beyond a doubt he has a handle on his mental health issues and is over his urge to cheat. He is facing some real tough issues and a screaming baby will only make a barely tolerable situation totally crazy.
Last edited by VicPark; 20-01-2015 at 17:41.
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20-01-2015 17:57 #37
I am not going back on contraception. We have discussed it. He doesn't have an urge to cheat, just an urge to be wanted. It's never going to go away, but a psych can help him find ways to deal with it.
20-01-2015 18:01 #38
I agree with vp.
Until you are both very sure you have dealt with the cheating, on both your side (being hurt) and his need to and lack of thought about you, then a baby does not help. We had a baby and that triggered him to do it again.
Please be careful.
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20-01-2015 19:53 #39
Good luck OP. Having kids is the most stressful thing ever and if your relationship isn't rock solid it will tear it apart. I hope ttc takes a while so you can work through the issues.
20-01-2015 19:55 #40
I work with majority blokes and have learned 1 thing. Where there is smoke there is fire. Always. They never ever stop at flirting. I would say 60% probably even higher cheat on their partners who have no idea.
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