Spencer Val (val Kilmer made it pretty cool)
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14-01-2015 09:59 #11Senior Member
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- May 2011
14-01-2015 10:49 #12
We have a little boy and my husband was so keen on having a girl this time around. I think it also didn't help that all of his family kept saying how wonderful it would be to have one of each up until we had the scan. He was hoping for a girl because we really only want two kids and he is worried that having two boys would make me want to try for a girl later on.
So when we had our scan, and it showed a boy, he was visibly disappointed (and silent). I can honestly say that of everyone in our families, I was the only one who seemed genuinely stoked to be having another boy. It took him maybe a few days or so to get over it (again, didn't help when his mother just said "ohhhh..." when we told her. Never heard so much disappointment in someone's voice over the phone before) - and now he couldn't be more excited about having his boys club at home.
This is one reason I *had* to find out the gender at 20 weeks. I'm glad that we've had time to all get our heads around it and get excited for the little boy that is going to pop into our lives any day now.
All the best xx
14-01-2015 12:00 #13Junior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2014
I'm pregnant with our first and my DH wanted a boy badly as we had decided to use his deceased grandfathers name as the middle name if it was a boy. This was really important to my DH. I didn't mind either gender but felt strongly from the start it was a girl. My DH was quite upset and down for about two weeks when we found out she is indeed a little girl. I too worried about his reaction and couldn't really understand it but let him be. Besides the naming issue he was scared he couldn't relate to a daughter (never been around little girls and only has 1 nephew). He spoke to mates who had girls and dealt with in his own little way. 2 wks after finding out he hit the shops alone and came back with girls clothes and a toy - he can't wait for her to arrive now!! Sometimes it just takes men a little time to sort their heads out before coming to their senses!
14-01-2015 12:38 #14
I did a google search and a masculine form of Valerie, is Valery. It is mainly a french or russian name.
You could name him Spencer Graeme Valery, if you really wanted to include your father as well.
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19-01-2015 06:33 #15
We are pregnant with our first and DH really wants a girl as well. I go back and forth on preference, but am happy with either.
Also, I would highly recommend reminding him that if it were only you, baby would be a girl. He brings the Y gene to the party. That might shut him up. Good luck!
19-01-2015 06:39 #16
Valérie is a unisex name in my country so it could work as a middle name.
Regarding gender disappointment I think it's better to not find out when one or both parents are so invested in a gender.
Birth is such a full on event that you are over the moon with whatever you get in the end, it's such a miracle. Plus baby boy and baby girl are very similar ;-)
19-01-2015 07:08 #17
Both myself and my DH struggled with gender disappointment when we found out DS3 was a boy. It us a hard thing to explain, once you find out your bub is the opposite sex to what you were hoping for, the "disappointment" feeling is actually completely separate from the baby (well for myself it was anyway). I was so happy that my bub was healthy (especially as we thought we'd lost him a few weeks earlier) but I felt a huge amount of sadness when realizing I would never have a daughter. I was able to be excited to meet my baby boy and very upset at the same time.
I wont lie, it was a very rough period for my DH and I because we were giving up on something we both always thought we'd have.
We both still have pangs of sadness but they're never ever connected to our sons. I wouldn't change a single hair on their heads, I love them just as they are.
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19-01-2015 07:14 #18
I'm pregnant with our second (and most likely last) child... Morphology scan tomorrow, and hopefully we'll find out the sex. In all honesty, I'd prefer if bub were a boy.
This seems utterly ridiculous to me, given that I'm a strong proponent of gender-neutral parenting. The reality is though that bub's sex will make a big difference to how people treat/perceive it, and hence to our parenting.
I think I'll be disappointed if bub is a girl, but I'm certain I'll get over it quickly. My plan is to go shopping for some 'girly' clothes afterwards (which I always avoided with DD1) to get myself excited.
Whatever the case, I'm sure your husban will come around. If you have a son and he's disappointed, just be there to listen and let him come to terms with it as he needs. In all likelihood it won't be long before he's excited.
Also, I think Val would make a lovely middle name for a boy
19-01-2015 09:40 #19
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19-01-2015 12:07 #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
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