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  1. #1
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    Default Gender disappointment?

    Hi all

    Just wanting advice
    I'm pregnant with bubs 1
    Find out gender in 2 weeks. I'm honestly not fussed on gender.

    But DP really wants a girl. He lost his mum from a stroke a year ago and we agreed if a girl it would have her name as a middle name.

    Before the loss of his mum he always wanted a daughter, but the yearning is more now which I understand.

    If this baby is a boy im REALLY worried how he will be... Will he still be happy? Will he stick around??

    Any advice?

  2. #2
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    tazz475 is offline Holy banjo, check out boob mountain!
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    I don't see why your hubby would leave you and bubs just because baby is a boy... Unless there are already marital issues there.

    I haven't experienced it first hand but I'm sure anyone with children will tell you that when baby is born it doesn't matter what bub's sex is. You will both just be happy to have a healthy baby here with you.

    My DF is the same, always going on about wanting a girl, I eventually had to pull him up on it because it was making me uncomfortable. It was only then that he realised how shallow he sounded and started to reassure me that he would be happy with either sex.

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    No there's no other relationship issues
    I'm just paranoid lol

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    That must be really difficult for you both. If it's a boy it may just take a little while for the idea to settle in but I'm sure he will be excited once u start talking about names.
    I didn't have gender disappointment but I know some of the ladies in here did so I hope some of them can give you ideas to help work through it.
    Good luck

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    My hubby always said he thought he would have 2 girls so when we found out we were having a boy I could sense he was disappointed and secretly so was I as again I had always imagined having girls. It lasted a few weeks but once I got my head around having a boy I became really excited and of course now he's here there's no disappointment at all. I am grateful I found out in pregnancy though as I wouldn't have wanted that down feeling at the birth as I have heard people that have felt it even if it doesn't last long they still had the disappointment at birth. If it is a boy once your partner starts thinking about all the fun things a father and son can do together he will soon get excited.

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    Is there anyway to honour his mum with a masculine name? Like using her surname or adapting first or middle name in anyway that will suit a boys middle name? So that he can still make that connection between his mum and his child

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    tazz475 is offline Holy banjo, check out boob mountain!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dancinjude View Post
    No there's no other relationship issues
    I'm just paranoid lol
    Welll, your hubby knew that making a baby would result in a 50/50 chance of being a boy, so I doubt he would leave you!

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    DF already had a girl and was desperate for a boy however he lucked out with our DD lol he was disappointed at first he got over it, picked her name and that was it.. he fell in love with her the minute she was born.. they now have a beautiful bond

    Although he said if we have another one and its a girl then that is it absolutely no more!! Lol

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    Thanks all
    His mums name was valerie,
    So we had decided on ava valerie for a girl and
    Spencer graeme for a boy as my dad has no sons to carry on his name.
    But if you can find a way to use valerie for a boy also that would be great!!

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    Val as a middle name? Like Val kilmer


 

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