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  1. #1
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    Default New daycare, I'm not that happy...

    So firstly, DS is 3.5 and started a new daycare.

    How do you tell if a child is telling the truth? My DS isn't able to articulate what he wants or what has happened during the day very well.

    I usually have to prompt an answer, so after daycare (at the last daycare where he was very happy and so was I) when I picked him up, I would ask "how was your day? Did you have a good time?" And he would say "yes"

    Then I would say, "what did you do?" And he replies "ummmm... Nothing!" So then I would say "what about pasting?" Then he would say "yes" and I'd say "did you play with (name)" and he would say "yup!"

    Anyway, it's only recently that he's started to go into a bit more detail on what has happened in various situations.

    Eg. If he hurts his baby brother, baby starts to cry, I run back into the room to see what's happened and I ask him and he says "nothing" and then if I prompt him and say "why is your brother crying?" He now says "I hurt him" then I say "what happened?" And he says "I hit him/pushed him/kicked him" etc.

    Anyway so he's pretty honest in that respect.

    He had his first day at a new bigger day care yesterday, I felt uneasy about the centre before I even took him for his first day but unfortunately the other centres I applied for weren't available

    Anyway, a few things happened yesterday which I am not happy about but don't want to over react to them either, but this morning he told me, after I tried to get him to talk about whether liked it there or not, that he hit a girl, he was upset and cried and a teacher yelled at him.

    From what I could gather, he was playing with a block and she tried to take it away from him so he hit her (he is generally a very gentle and soft natured child and often shy. I've seen him "hit" other kids in the playground in similar circumstances (if someone takes his bike or whatever) but his hit is more like a soft tap.

    Anyway he said he was crying and sad because the teacher came and shouted at him. And I asked if she shouted loudly or softly and he said 'loud!"

    Besides that, a few other things I was concerned about was

    1 when we dropped him off, no one introduced him to any of the kids and the carers didn't really make much of an effort to even introduce themselves to him.

    2 when we picked him up, everyone was outside, he was sitting away from everyone on his own, all the kids had bowls with fruit, he didn't. He was the only one who didn't have any. He loves fruit! We went to say hello to him and he asked me if he could have fruit and he also wanted a bowl. One of the carers was sitting right there when we walked in and I'm sure she would have heard him ask, but I still had to go and specifically ask her for some fruit for him and a bowl. She brought over a dirty bowl for him. It had sand/dirt in it and someone small leftover piece of apple. He had been playing in the sandpit at some point and his hands were covered in sand and dirt, no one mentioned anything about him washing his hands before he ate... I found that strange.

    He also wanted his water so I went and found his water bottle and it was empty.

    When we asked how he went on his first day, all we got was negative feedback and they said it in front of him. They didn't say anything positive they said he cried and kept saying 'no' to everything

    I feel upset for DS, it's a big change from family daycare and he would have been a bit overwhelmed with all the changes and more kids etc.

    I didn't see the carers really interacting with any of the kids that much, they all just kind of stood around as if waiting for the clock to tick over so they could go home

    I am trying to keep an open mind but I just have a weird feeling about this centre

    I told dh we should give it a few weeks and see what happens, just want to see if it's possibly because the carers are getting to know the new kids? I don't know

  2. #2
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    Is there any other care options around? If it were me i wouldnt go back but understand sometimes its probably not that easy

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    Is it possible to pop in at random times throughout the day to see what is going on?
    How did the other kids seem?
    Trust your gut but remember it will take him a bit to get used to a centre.

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  6. #4
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    I'm a big believer in go with your gut. If there is smoke, there is generally fire. Trust your instincts.


    DH & I Married since 2005
    DD1 March 2008
    DD2 April 2009
    DD3 October 2010
    DD4 Due December 2014.

  7. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by mummyof3girls View Post
    I'm a big believer in go with your gut. If there is smoke, there is generally fire. Trust your instincts.


    DH & I Married since 2005
    DD1 March 2008
    DD2 April 2009
    DD3 October 2010
    DD4 Due December 2014.
    I totally agree with this..
    I believe kids have good instincts they know if something isn't right..

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    I would try and pop in a couple of random times.
    Plus I'd be looking at other options. It doesn't sound that great.

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    From what you've said already I'd be pulling him out straight away if it was my DS. I wouldn't take any more chances. Whether it's right or not (as it's so hard to tell what's exactly happened) I wouldn't risk it as I couldn't relax while I was at work. But that's just me. You do what you feel is right for your DS. xo

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    I would call them and invite myself to come and play for an hour or so with ds. I've always done this at a new place and they've always accommodated me. Allows me to watch the interactions.

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    Your poor little guy!
    I agree with popping in randomly.
    My DS has only just started child care and I still breastfeed him so I'm in and out of there a few times a day and every time I go and am in the babiea room, there are happy babies. They're eating, sleeping, playing, having a story and it feels very calm.
    If the centre doesn't feel like that, go with your gut

  13. #10
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    I'd be upset by what you have observed without even adding what your son told you into the mix. I would be horrified if any of the educators at work acted like that.


 

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