I can't believe any family would think its ok for their mother/mil to be looking after 4-6 kids five days week!!! Especially when she had voiced that it is difficult for her. Frankly it would be extremely difficult for most people and as a whole family I think it's sad that nobody is considering your mil's wellbeing.
I think you and your sil should find a paid babysitter to watch all 6 kids for 2 days a week and split the cost. That way you and sil get childcare at a reduce rate to a holiday care program and mil gets a few days to rest and enjoy her own life. The kids also get to spend time with their cousins. Everyone wins.
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10-01-2015 15:11 #41
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10-01-2015 15:14 #42
Op do you need care for 2 days total or 2 days a week over the holidays???
10-01-2015 15:27 #43
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10-01-2015 15:38 #44Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
Eh... I don't get why the SIL is copping all the wrath and blame. She married into the family as well. If hubby was going to call anyone (which I don't agree with), it should be his brother.
It just sounds like by getting hubby to call the SIL, you're trying to get him to pull "rank" as a blood relative to your MIL, being more important to your MIL than the SIL is who has only married into the family.
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10-01-2015 15:43 #45
Can you not simply call the SIL and talk about it calmly and just ask her if she can work something out with you? The mil probably feels torn and as though she can't say no. If the sil isn't willing to negotiate some days then you really have no choice but vacation care or a babysitter.
I agree with previous posters that asking the mil to have 6 kids is totally unreasonable. 4 kids is def enough.
10-01-2015 16:21 #46-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
10-01-2015 16:46 #47
At the risk of ****ing people off, firstly you say your MIL tells you how she cant cope with the 4 so you ask her to have 6? Umm...what?!?
Secondly, you leave it last minute then be prepared for a no and have a back up plan.
And thirdly, im sorry but the "its not fair" makes me picture a child jumping up and down because they didnt get their own way.
I agree with others, think of your MIL she is a grandmother not a glorifed babysitter. You were told no, thats life, it happens.
10-01-2015 16:58 #48
10-01-2015 17:36 #49
Unfortunately MIL is not available.
I think it would be wrong for anyone to call anyone about this and try and persuade or change their minds.
Next time you might have to be organised sooner.
This time it sounds like you or DH will have to stay home with kids or see if you can hire a baby sitter or use occasional care.
Be careful about MIL complaining about SIL to you. Im fast learning that if someone is prepared to complain to you about others you can bet your @ss they're complaining about you too! As I've discovered lately!
Leave whatever SIL and BIL are doing to them. It's not your concern.
Avoid the trap!
10-01-2015 18:34 #50
MIL has said no to childcare....advise needed
Haven't read the responses and I'm sure mine will be an unpopular view but tough. I get that it 'isn't fair' when your SIL always gets the offered babysitting. Don't forget that they have had an arrangement far longer than you it seems. While it is nice to have inlaws to do babysitting there are plenty of us who don't have that luxury and still get by. Your MIL has already raised her own kids and had to deal with the finding someone to babysit dilemmas. These are your kids and its your turn. I just don't see why you think you have the right to demand that she takes your kids and then get annoyed when she can't do it.
The fact that your SIL gets all the babysitting is a whole separate thing that your hubby should be discussing with his mum.
I would just chalk this one up as experience and next time try and make arrangements much earlier in advance. Good luck with it all!
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