Help!! I've just been offered my dream job with fantastic pay but it's full time. (Going from a family earning $60,000 to $150,000).
I have almost 3yr old DS and 10 month oldDS.
We have no family to help. The kids are in care 3 days and my DH would have to work part time to help out at home.
I already feel guilty with the potential of my kids in care for three days. I've been a SAHM for 3yrs and don't know how I'll cope. Being away from them for 5 days scares me.
So I have some questions...
How do you manage?
Are you happy working 5 days?
How do your children cope?
Do you notice and behavioral problems with your children lashing out because you aren't with them all the time?
Is it worth it for the money/lifestyle?
Any other advice would be greatly appreciated.
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02-01-2015 14:19 #1
Full time working mums with young children
02-01-2015 14:34 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
I work full time and my DP works three days a week. DS is 20 months and goes to day care on the days that DP works. We have no family help so I guess we're in a similar position.
We always said that I would be the one working if we had kids as I earn double what DP earns. It doesn't make it any easier to go to work on some days and I do feel a little guilty at times but it is what's best for our family. I went back to work when DS was 7 months old.
Whilst it's hard some days to be present at work when I'd rather be home with DP & DS, I don't regret working. In fact, I think I have to work to keep my sanity iykwim. The best part too is the fantastic relationship that DP and DS now have. It was a bit rocky at first because DP couldn't really read what DS wanted or needed but now it's great - especially as DS is able to communicate better. It has also made it easier for me to leave DS with DP. I often hear about parents who can't leave their kids with their partner and this isn't an issue for us at all.
I make sure that I'm organised at the start of the week - do a meal plan, make sure all the clothes are washed etc just to make the week easier. Unfortunately. Whilst DP can cook, he's hopeless at deciding what to cook so meal planning just makes it easier.
Weekends are also more valuable to me now. Before having DS, I used to waste my weekends but now it's about spending quality time with him. The time that I have during the week, whilst shorter than I would like, is also of a better quality.
My suggestion is to take the job and give it a good go. If it doesn't work out for your family in 6 months then you can leave.
02-01-2015 14:40 #3
Full time working mums with young children
Last edited by JR03; 02-01-2015 at 14:46.
02-01-2015 14:46 #4
I only work 4 days per week but have a bit of a commute so am away from my daughter for over 40 hours a week.
She's in daycare 2 days and with my parents 2 days, so our situation is a bit different in terms of family support.
Financially, it means we can be comfortable, can easily tackle unexpected expenses, can have a big house, can utilize our annual leave with a holiday and spending every day doing something she loves.
I manage by meal planning (making sure I plan meals which are very quick to get on the table on weeknights), directly telling hubby what I need help with rather than expecting he will just see it himself, and by planning fun things to do on the weekend.
I don't think her behaviour is any different from being away from us as much as she is.
Overall, I'm happy because I love my job and am not financially stressed, which makes me the best mum I can be.
02-01-2015 14:46 #5
I would take it. It's what you make it. Weekends count and holidays. I was fine with my boy in care 5 days a week when I was earning that kind of money as we banked my wage and saved 200k towards our house that we just bought. I'm now a Sham and would go back to work if and when I can find a new job. My boy was actually more settled into a good routine that worked really well for him and he loves his care and mates there.
02-01-2015 14:51 #6
Subscribing. I'm due to start my full-time dream job on Monday. DS has just turned 4 and I was planning to wait till he went back to school to return to work full-time but this job was a bit too good for me to refuse. I've been working part-time (2-3 days per week) since DS was 2.5 and that's been great for DS and me.
We have no family support so he'll be in daycare 2 days per week, kinder 3 days per week with a nanny to help on his kinder days as kinder sessions only run for 5 hours a day! It's a bit complicated and I don't know exactly how or if it will work but figure it's worth just giving it a shot and hoping for the best. IF it doesn't work out and we all end up miserable I can always quit too. I think I'd regret it more if I didn't at least try...
02-01-2015 14:52 #7
My husband and and I both work full time and my dd is in daycare 5 days a week. At first I was scared and sad, now we both love it. I'm a much better parent now I'm back at work.
02-01-2015 15:16 #8
Thanks for the replies. Ideally I would love to negotiate and do 4 days. That would be perfect but not sure how to do the negotiating when the job is full time.
It does sound manageable and we have been talking about falling pregnant at the end of the year. If we are lucky enough and it worked out, I would get maternity leave and could perhaps negotiate again.
02-01-2015 15:53 #9
I work full time, currently 4 days but will be going back to 5 days as I'm not coping with the long days, awake at 430, out the door 530 not home until 530/6.
My dd has thrived in care she loves it
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02-01-2015 16:31 #10
I work just over 40 hours per week at the moment, although 16 of those I'm passive (basically on call whilst asleep at work). Not quite the same as 5 days a week, but my thoughts:
At times I find it hard leaving DD (27 months) when I'd rather be with her, but I know she's happy and cares for and will have a great time without me. I definitely appreciate my time with her more now I'm working; I'm much more present and never resent having to look after her which I used to do. All in all I'm a much happier and more patient parent not DD now I'm working.
If this is an opportunity you want, I'd say jump on it! You can alway attempt to negotiate hours down the track, or quit if you really don't want to keep doing it. You'll never know what you might be missing unless you give it a try.
Good luck with your decision!
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