Calling all TTC testers who want to wait till AF is late ... Support chat :-) #4

[curlybird]

We haven't done the deed since sunday so i doubt its that.. plus it was clear. I've had on and off cramping so we shall see.
Won't be going under sedation for the dentist as its too expensive and health insurance won't cover any of it. Instead the dentist is prescribing me something that is stronger than Valium so should help ease my anxiety.

I haven't had any further ewcm today so im going to assume i have o'd. Will be crazy if we fall first time but im not going to get my hopes up. Im still breastfeeding so that is also supposedly a natural contraceptive... we will see.

[KJane13]

Sounds promising @curlybird? I've heard of a lot of women having lots of cm early on?

Excuse my language .. But F@!K me!! Every.single.period I ALWAYS question if I'm ready or should wait... The facts are:
Still living with my parents, house being built ready next year sometime between April - July
Would love to go travelling ~ yet too anxious to actually organise anything
Love my job ~ yet there are times when I'm like oh god I'm ready to leave and have a baby, be a stay at home mumma
Love my husband and our marriage the way it is, so scared having a baby will mean not as much time for "us" ~ DH is a total sweetheart with babies, I feel like it could also bring us closer together
I have my struggles, and often have bad days where I end up in bed all day and DH looks after me, so how can I look after a baby? Don't get to have a day off as a mother ~ yet I also feel like having a baby might light a fire in me and get me to buck up and get on with things. And I know DH will help and will take the Bub for me if I need a relaxing bath or something...
Don't want to upset family by having a baby early ~ also feel like they might be really happy
Worry about how we will survive ~ we are actually saving more atm than our mortgage repayments will be, as an ECE I could open a family day centre which would allow me to stay home with my baby and also bring in some extra money.

I know it's a personal decision but what do u guys think? If anything thanks for letting me have a vent. Change is something that's really hard for me to deal with... And so I want to make sure I'm making the right decision, but on the other hand if I wait until I'm not anxious.. I'd never do anything!! Do u ever have any freak outs/ doubts ?
Oh I just hate feeling this way... Where's my magic 8 ball? Geez life would easier

[KJane13]

And I apologise if my post offended anyone .. I realise that everyone is here because they are TTC and would love to have a baby more than anything. I don't mean to make it sound like I'm making this decision casually / recklessly... I just really have experienced a roller coaster of emotions and at times it gets the better of me and I can't cope with the anxiety. I don't know if it's normal to have some doubts / fears or if I shouldn't be doing this if I'm not 100% sure all of the time. Every time O comes around it's like my maternal instinct takes over and shouts "make a baby!", I feel like my body is trying to do something and I'm letting my head get in the way

[curlybird]

@KJane13 what you are feeling is completely normal, its a very big life changer having a baby and in my opinion for the better. I too had the same doubts but now wouldn't change a thing... but in saying that im also freaking out about having 2 babies and wondering how we are going to cope!!

Do you mind me asking how old you are?

Feel free to vent away, it helped me so much having other people that weren't friends or family to talk to about these things.

[KJane13]

Thanks @curlybird , it's nice to know that other people experience it too, it's just so different to how I imagined I should feel.

I don't mind at all, I'm 19 and DH is 23, we've been married a bit over a year.

Can I ask if you had these doubts throughout ur pregnancy or just when TTC?

[curlybird]

@KJane13 Yes i had them through my pregnancy, it was more like "holy sh*t what have i gotten myself into and am i ready for this!!" ahha but once that tiny ball of squish was handed to me then all those worries went away. Also when you start feeling kicks its so incredibly amazing!

[monkey88]

@KJane13 it's definitely normal! It's pretty scary, change in general is scary.

My advice is to go with your gut. You know if your truly ready. And if your not, waiting a year or so isn't a bad thing. But also remember that you can travel with a baby, it's not going to stop you, ok so you can't backpack around Europe, but there are other options, and the house ... Might be nice to have your parents around in the early days? The baby won't be affected by it, and won't even remember it.
Saving money, ok yeah double income is great, and make the most of it while it lasts ... But for me, I would rather have a baby than lots of money sitting in my bank (both would be good ... But if I had to pick 1, I would choose to have a family every time).

Hope I made sense ... I am really tied ATM. And I hope
You feel better soon, anxiety is an a*shole ... Try not to let it get the better of you xx

[curlybird]

I've been getting a lot of cramping and did an opk this morning and finally i have a faint line! Woo!! Time to get onthe baby making train!

[NelopeJ88]

@KJane13 I think it's normal to have those thoughts! It's such a massive life changing decision.
My SIL had really bad anxiety for years (still does a little bit) and surprisingly once she had babies she wasn't so bad anymore.


@curlybird have fun baby making!!

[monkey88]

Ok so maybe I am not on the same cycle day as everyone ... Woops, I am CD11 today. I accidentally countered from the 1st July instead of my period start date. Silly.

Today is my appointment day with the specialist. I was stressing & crying yesterday, but for now I feel ok. I am more scared I won't get an answer today... I just want to know, yes this is what it is you need to do this... Or nope your tubes are fine, you can relax! I know that's not going to happen though ... I will have to wait for answers and I hate waiting.

I am attempting to check my CM... But not sure if I am doing it right. I think I am at that watery stage ... But how do I know if I am reaching high enough? I can't seem to actually touch it?