How old is bub?
Our relationship didn't suffer, per se, but it was definitely not about us at all for the first 9 months of DSs life. DP was a little jaded I think as toby didn't want anything to do with her for the first almost year of his life! However he's 13 months old now and we are rock solid.
We've made decisions together and common goals to work towards and toby adores her, so she really gets why we did it now.
The first year is hard and it's so easy to let your relationship slip first,
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29-12-2014 15:38 #11
29-12-2014 16:01 #12
We had many years of it being just dh and I and were so very ready to share our lives with someone else. The fact we struggled to conceive just made us stronger and when we finally became parents we were ecstatic. Ds1 was a reflux and colicky baby and I had health issues so the sleep deprivation was really hard and for the first 6 months our relationship suffered a little but it was short lived. Im lucky that dh was very supportive through labours of our 3 babies and has been hands on and interested in the kids from the day they were born, he's an awesome father and husband. It's making time for each other and communicating really well that's the key.
29-12-2014 16:02 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Our bub turned 1 last month & yes DD wanted me more for comfort etc in those first few months so we just went with it.. & looking back I think DH would have felt left out. I know we need to have a serious chat, because I think we're both unhappy, I just feel so rundown. Another issue is we don't live close to our families so we miss out on that support.
29-12-2014 16:39 #14
DP and I have a 9 month old DD. Before she was 8 months old DP and I had only been out together 2 times without her. It was like falling in love all over again! We were dating and it was fun. We had forgotten that although DD was so important to both if us, we were important to one another.
Our relationship was strengthened by her birth. DP is a wonderful mother. Most of the time I think that although I have birth to her DD likes DP better. Having said that, we fight around 10 times more than before. We are arguing and having differing opinions. We are fighting often and feel so angry sometimes.
Maybe your DP just needs to find his rhythm? DP was really scared at first. But we designating some activities only for her so she felt special, needed and confident. DP gave dd her baths, puts her to sleep in the pram, feeds her solids most of the time and used to spend every afternoon having DD sleeping on her chest. Have you thought about activities only for DP to do with bub?
29-12-2014 17:47 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Hi Best Things, yes I think I need to do this or maybe we alternate days of doing certain routines etc. I know he is capable he just chooses not to get involved unless I ask. I was thinking swimming lessons or something where it's just them & their activity..
I thought maybe I could ask friends to recommend a babysitter so we could have a date night once in a while. I think we just don't connect as a couple & reading comments on here I'm starting to recognize that it makes a big difference.
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