Excellent thread. My DD isn't a great sleeper and the moment I stopped fighting it and rolled with it I was soooo much happier, was less tired (cause I stopped thinking about how tired and how little sleep and stopped looking at the clock) and my anxiety and feelings of failure are subsiding. I try not to live with regrets but I do wish I stopped caring a long time ago.
Putting a message that all babies 6mths+ can sttn is more damaging than saying I have a bad sleeper and I roll with it. DD is 12mths+ and not able to sleep through the night, in fact she can't fall asleep by herself period. Is this my fault...... HELL NO! It's taken me along time and a lot of feelings of guilt to realise this. She just had trouble switching off and winding down and has been like this since day dot. Any attempts I have made in the past (and I have tried a fair few things) end up with a bub who sleeps worse, is clingy, takes hours to go to sleep. She needs me and that's ok!
She goes through stages of sleeping well and not sleeping well.
Positive things: crawling up me to give me kisses instead of going to sleep. Waking up to her smiling saying MumMumMum. Oh and my fav her copying me laying in bed stretching
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20-12-2014 15:24 #31Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
20-12-2014 15:36 #32
Echoing @ABigDeepBreath sentiments: in 20 years are you going to look back and think "I wish I cuddled my baby less?" Lol! Of course I am going to think "I'm so glad I got all those cuddles in when my sons needed me."
20-12-2014 16:08 #33
I've got crap sleepers, both of my kids, just discovered my 4.5 year old has sleep issues and lacks enough melatonin and is now taking that to help her sleep, kind of wish I had known that far earlier she was still waking 10+ times a night at 3, my son is slowly improving he's 14 months now and will occasionally sleep through, he needs us so we get up for him, that's our job. One day I will get a full nights sleep again until then embrace the wakeful times, I am grateful for the reasons I have them!
20-12-2014 16:11 #34
20-12-2014 16:18 #35
20-12-2014 16:22 #36Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
Time really does fly and the only regret I have is that I wasted so much time trying to change her when I should've just been cuddling and enjoying her sweet baby self.
20-12-2014 16:29 #37
My DS was a rubbish sleeper from the day he was born, that child broke us into a million pieces and no amount of help made a difference, he would not sleep day or night. Eventually at 3 he was diagnosed with extremely enlarged adenoids and tonsils and had them out - still didn't sleep.
Along came DD and she seemed so much better and then it hit!!
It was comical, DH was on the floor sleeping in with DS and DD was in bed with me feeding every hour, I couldn't help wonder what on earth had gone wrong.
We got a sleep consultant in and whilst DD was "fixed" DS was stubborn and wilful at and 8yo he can still be up 8 times a night. He has no doubt spent most of his life sleep deprived and yet he is excelling at school, he's uncoordinated like his mother and generally undamaged from his lack of sleep.
If you can't "fix" it, you have to learn to roll with it - doesn't make it easier but it helps you stop feeling resentment towards not only your kids but every other mother who always said what great sleepers their kids were - I seriously could have hurt someone those days.
Good luck and you are not alone
20-12-2014 16:38 #38
Yep, my 11 month old still wakes at least 2-3 times at night. I feel like a cheat though as we cosleep so it doesn't really disturb me too much. I think nighttime cuddles are just as, if not more, important as daytime cuddles. As a kid I was often scared if I woke during the night but mostly felt too afraid to ask my parents for comfort. I think that is a shame that I couldn't reach out to them when I needed them.
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20-12-2014 17:45 #39Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
You're a mum and nobody knows your baby like you. My dd started sleeping through at 7 months after a stint in sleep school. I was broken the lack of sleep got to be too much. That said at 1 she started waking again. Now she wakes up every night between 1 and 4. We bring her into our bed and she sleeps just fine the rest of the night. She will never be a good sleeper but for her this is good right now.
20-12-2014 20:27 #40
I'm glad I found this thread. My kids haven't never been 'good' sleepers as babies but once my first turned 2 he got so much better and now at age 4 sleeps all night usually. Started waking up at 5am recently but I blame the lack of daylight savings in QLD for that!!
My second baby has been even harder as she's boob obsessed. She's 16 months. I feed her to sleep. Or if DH does bedtime she gets pushed back and forth in the pram then transferred to cot when asleep. No way can she self settle. And I know I've created that. But you know what? I don't care because one day she'll just lay down and go to sleep.
She was waking up multiple times a night until 13 months old. It was so hard. Then suddenly it went down to once a night. Then now she'll often sleep through until 4-5am and then be up for the day. I expect when she weans herself it'll be even better.
But I'm glad I never did any sleep training with her. It felt right to hold her, to feed her. Even though I was exhausted I couldn't let her cry. I sleep with her when needed. It does eventually get better. In the meantime you just try to manage.
I agree so much that once you surrender and just go with it, it's easier. Rather than stressing about routine and self settling etc. Surrender kept me sane
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