My friend lives in the Sunshine Coast in QLD and his daughter lives in Melbourne. His daughter is 7 and they are very close. He flys down to see her every two months or so and they Skype every second day for him to help her with homework and to chat. He also bought her a mobile so she can call or text him whenever she wants to.
My ex moved away and rarely contacts my daughter and his visits are sporadic. She doesn't really have much of a relationship with him, although she is only 3.
My advice would be to be constant and consistent with contact of your girls. Make sure they know you love them and that they are still important to you.
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11-12-2014 17:47 #21
11-12-2014 17:57 #22Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2014
I know a girl from uni who lives on the other side of Australia to her daughter. They have a really good relationship through regular skype, and going to see her as much as she can (even though sometimes it's only once a year due to distance and travel expenses).
I think just letting her daughter know she is there for her, and being consistent is what makes their relationship strong.
11-12-2014 23:42 #23
I live interstate to my ex, and our 7yo DD has a great relationship with both of us, it is possible!
We work it like this, we pretty much had 50:50 before she got to school age, I'd have her for about 3 months, then he would have her for 2 months, etc etc. when she hit school age, I didn't intend to stay in the town I was living, so I sent her to start school with her dad. The compromise is that come school holidays, I get her about 2 weeks prior to end of term, so he has her about 8wks, then I have her 4wks. She is very bright and still ahead of her class, if she was falling behind I'd give up that extra time. She just finished year 1, so far so good. She is doing next year at school with her dad still, then she is coming to do years 3-6 with me. We figure one school change won't be too disruptive. We haven't negotiated high school yet lol. The drawback for her dad is that he hasn't had her for Xmas since she was about 2yo, as Xmas has always fallen during my time. Birthdays are hit and miss depending on who's turn it is to have her, she doesn't mind having two parties anyway :P
In between visits we have phone calls and skype for who ever doesnt have her. She has an iPad and iPod for messaging apps and skype calls.
It all works for us, and she considers both houses to be "home"
I guess the trick to making it work is that we both put her needs first, and make decisions based on this. We both try to accommodate each other, and take turns paying for flights. Neither of us pays the other child support, we figure we contribute equally to her life as it is.
I hope this gives you some hope!
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