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  1. #11
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    That's why I asked. I don't want to be "that" Mum or that future MIL. Guess I'll just suck it up.

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  3. #12
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    I'd be gutted if DS did that to me BUT I wouldn't guilt trip him more do something like well let's do breakfast together with the GF so you get to see him on the day at least

  4. #13
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    I think it's a bit late for him to be telling you this. As for him not being there for Christmas, people handle that type of thing differently. Personally, DH and I saw our own families separately for Christmas until we got engaged. We'd then meet up at night. People see things in their own particular way though!

  5. #14
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    I would be upset but I also wouldn't say anything. We have my parents and the in-laws and to be honest I couldn't imagine not spending Christmas with my family and the same for Dh. So we go to the in-laws for one half of the day and my parents the other half. Could he come before or after lunch?

  6. #15
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    Since I was 21 I've been doing xmas with my then bf now hubby. We spent xmas eve and xmas day morning at my mums then drove to his parents and spent the afternoon/evening plus Boxing Day with them. When we visited the UK last xmas with bubba we did the same thing. This year we won't be seeing any family on xmas day cause it's just for our little family. Don't tell him you are upset but it will feel like emotional blackmail. Just book them both in for next year :-)

  7. #16
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    Can you start a new tradition of Christmas Eve dinner at your place? That way, there's no pressure who spends the next day with and you all still have a family event to look forward to each year?

  8. #17
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    I understand why you feel that way, there is something about Christmas and who goes where.

    Would you consider doing alternate years? We spend one Christmas Day with my family and do a separate toned down casual thing a week before or after Christmas with DHs family and then swap the following year. My cousin does the same years as us so we are always together on the "on" year.

    Works really well for us, DHs brother and his family don't do it this way but again that's their choice but for us and our kids it works.

  9. #18
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    If it were me I'd smile, tell him I'd catch up with him later in the day and have a little cry when he wasn't around. I understand he is your only child and your son, you want to be with him xmas lunch. But he has a serious gf. For years my DH's family always pressured us to put my side on the back burner and spend lunch with them. The last few years we've stopped doing it and spending it with my side.

    Your son and his gf have to share it around. I agree with others. I know it hurts but don't be the MIL that so many ladies on her complain about

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  11. #19
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    Yes, I tend to agree with the others - it would hurt but it seems inevitable as kids grow up and get into relationships.

    I like the idea of suggesting coming over for breakfast or maybe having Christmas Eve together.

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  13. #20
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    We always alternate christmas. This year it is with dh's family so the weekend before christmas we have a big lunch and do some presents with my family.
    I would suggest to your ds they both come over for maybe a christmas dinner on christmas eve?


 

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