My 21yr old DS (my only bio child) informed me tonight that he will be having Christmas with his girlfriend's family and not our extended family. I am a bit sh**ty about it. Last year they had lunch with their own families and then met up after with a friends get together on Boxing Day. I told him that she is welcome to join us but they are both lunches so obviously they can't be in 2 places at the same time.So before I tell him I'm not happy just wanted to know if I'm being a cow about it?
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03-12-2014 20:02 #1
Am I being unreasonable?
Last edited by WiseOldOwl; 03-12-2014 at 20:05.
03-12-2014 20:11 #2
Unfortunately as they grow into adults and find a partner it's bound to happen! It's all part of life I'm afraid. I would be upset too but I wouldn't tell him you were ****ty about it. He is creating memories as an adult now with somone he sees a future with. I would book him in for next year
03-12-2014 20:11 #3
I think he is 21, and if its his wish to have lunch with his gf then that is his choice! He is obviously very serious about her and as i have gotten older (i know it sounds bad) but extended family starts to mean less then your other half. Why dont you do a boxing day do with both your families? ☺
03-12-2014 20:15 #4
Please don't tell him you are upset! My mum has put such a guilt trip on us in the past. It's so important to allow him to be an adult and make the choice. Yes, it sucks. Just invite them both over on Xmas eve or Boxing Day.
03-12-2014 20:15 #5
awwww that's sad. I would feel the same way as you. I wouldn't tell him you were ****ty, rather you could tell him how sad you are that you wont get to spend the day with him and let him know how much you will miss him.
03-12-2014 20:17 #6
He is growing up and it's going to happen.
Don't guilt trip him and be that mum.
03-12-2014 20:19 #7
its so hard
perhaps suggest that you see him at another point on christmas day to spend a bit of time together and have a little celebration ... either brunch, or maybe do a special thing on boxing day instead.
its really hard to manage both families, and I am sure he is a bit sensitive about the decision ... so try not to react when he is there. Have a cry when you are by yourself
03-12-2014 20:21 #8
Agree.. Let him go and be the mature adult mummy while you cry on the inside. Still hurts though xx
03-12-2014 20:22 #9
Oh that would be really hard....I would be upset too. That being said, I would try not to get angry at him - he obviously can't be in two places at once. I would let him know you are sad that you won't get to see him over lunch and maybe suggest a breakfast or dinner with you instead? Even if he doesn't get to spend time with the extended family at least you will be able to see him.
03-12-2014 20:24 #10
Don't be that mum!
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