The kids love my MiL, and she's lots of fun to be around. The main thing that annoys about my MIL is that she says (to me and to everyone on fb) how much she adores/loves/cares for her grandkids, and yet she makes next to no effort to see them. So given that, when I become a MiL one day, I am going to make every effort to say as I mean, and do as I say, because talk is cheap - actions are what count. Also I will try my best not to give unsolicited advice!
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26-11-2014 16:25 #11
26-11-2014 16:34 #12
I love my mil.
She gives us space, but doesn't ignore us.
Takes DS one day a week so I can work and never makes me feel like it's a burden- she loves it.
It's actually quite hard to pinpoint what is so great about her... She thinks I'm really good for DP so I guess that helps!
26-11-2014 17:01 #13
She doesn't get to look after Dd much because she works a lot and I don't need her babysat when she is free but I'm trying to remind myself that when she offers to look after her it's because she wants to see her, I'm always quick to say no because I don't want to trouble her. She's always welcome to see her but I know it's different when I'm there.
She's just always willing to help when ever I need and great to chat with.
26-11-2014 17:01 #14
Perfect MIL for me would mean:
-Genuinely cared about our family, and showed it. Made an effort to see us occasionally, rather than just when she wanted something.
-Respected our wishes with regard to parenting. e.g., if one of us said that no, DD can't have that apple right now, she's about to have dinner, she'd listen.
Honestly, they're the main things. There are a lot of good things about my MIL... but I think that a balance of genuine interest and respect for you as parents is what's important.
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26-11-2014 17:08 #15
I have a wonderful mil. She treats me like one of her children & would do anything for me. I also have a very close relationship with my own mum. So I guess Im very lucky. And both mothers get along too!
26-11-2014 17:27 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
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26-11-2014 21:41 #17
I love love love my MIL. She isn't just my MIL, she is my friend.
My own mother passed away 11 years ago so I turn to my MIL when I need a mum.
She is loving, caring, understanding, a wonderful mother, MIL and grandmother.
She listens, offers advice, but doesn't force her ideas, respects our relationship and how we parent whether she agrees with it or not.
She doesn't think the sun shines out of DFs bum and will pull him up if he is being a d!ck.
I hope one day to be a MIL just like her
26-11-2014 21:43 #18
I haven't read through the whole thread yet.
What makes for a great mother in law? That she does everything 'the right way'...which is of course my way
TBH - I have a great MIL and I find it hilarious as we are alike in many ways. DH married his mum
I get along a million times better with my MIL than my mum. She knows so much more about me and everything we've been through over the last few years whereas my mum couldn't care less and is so easily 'put out' when we're never allowed to be upset with them about anything. Argh!
Last edited by Little Ted; 26-11-2014 at 21:46.
26-11-2014 21:57 #19
One of the main things that kills me with my MIL is that she puts on the doting grandmother act in public but when she's looked after her in the past behind closed doors, can't stop complaining about normal things that 1 year olds do the second we get home. "My arms are SO sore, she wanted me to keep picking her up", "I couldn't even pick up my iPad without her wanting it", "it took her hours to go to sleep" (safe to say, we don't burden her with asking for babysitting favours anymore. We've found it that it's hard to play the doting grandmother when your granddaughter won't go to you). So like a PP said, I want a MIL who is genuine and consistent with what she says and how she acts.
I think it is easier to be a MIL to a male than female, as many women are instantly threatened by each other. So I guess at this stage I'm lucky as I have a daughter (though I guess she could bring home a female partner for me to be threatened by! Haha). I won't offer unsolicited advice and I will be an awesome grandmother when they want me to be, and won't be in their faces. I'll understand that they can't always come to every Christmas lunch or dinner as they have another family too, and won't get stroppy about it. All of this is easier said than done, I'm sure!
26-11-2014 22:35 #20
My MIL is ok, we get along although we have had our moments. She is a different generation to my parents and she thinks she knows it all having had 5 kids. I think a lot of what she says and thinks is a crock but just listen but take no notice half the time. I Would rather just get along than not get along. I don't call her mum and don't look at her in that sense. I am glad we have the distance between us. It's lovely to visit but lovely to get away.
I haven't thought about how I will be when ds's have girlfriends/wives and kids yikes! and don't want to think about it anytime soon
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