Sexual assault at school *trigger warning*

[2BlueBirds]

I get so annoyed when people label this as Sexual assault! The boy was 6, he can't be 'sexual' he wouldn't have urges. He's simple being silly or perhaps copying behaviours he has seen or been subject too (which of course is very sad).
My Ds is 5 and does silly things like try to touch my boobs and bum, go for grabs on me and even touch his brothers privates when he's naked. He does this as a joke, for a reaction, not as sexual assault. I'm trying to teach him not to touch other's private parts etc, but what if he does at school next year!! I'm freaking out that police would be called and I would be labelled as a perpetrator myself!

[Blessedwith3boys]

I understand you are concerned. I would be too. I hope your friend's daughter is OK and receiving counselling or whatever she needs. Same goes for the boy. He's 6. You have to trust the authorities and the school will handle the issues this boy may have. If you don't trust the school to handle things appropriately then perhaps you should be looking into other schools.

I have no question as to whether the school will handle the situation... They can't however unless they know about it.

[Me&Smooches]

Should the girls parent not be contacting the school if she is concerned? IMO you need to step away from the situation and let the girls parent, the school and dcp handle it

[lilypily]

I get so annoyed when people label this as Sexual assault! The boy was 6, he can't be 'sexual' he wouldn't have urges. He's simple being silly or perhaps copying behaviours he has seen or been subject too (which of course is very sad).
My Ds is 5 and does silly things like try to touch my boobs and bum, go for grabs on me and even touch his brothers privates when he's naked. He does this as a joke, for a reaction, not as sexual assault. I'm trying to teach him not to touch other's privates parts etc, but what if he does at school next year!! I'm freaking out that police would be called and I would be labelled as a perpetrator myself!

I so wanted to say that. The parents reaction will damage both children.

[harvs]

I can understand why you'd be wary KG. The only time I would say it was ok for you to get involved would be if there were repeated issues between this child and your own children. How would you feel about a parent 'warning' a school about behaviour that your own child had engaged in before they even started there?

I understand it would have been distressing for your friend's daughter. It sounds as though the teachers responded swiftly which is very heartening. This boy is 6 - he is a child who is learning about appropriate and inappropriate behaviours, not a sexual deviant with a record as long as his arm.

[Renn]

Honestly, I think the school would have it covered.

If it's ongoing sexualised behaviour (which, being in foster care etc., may well be the case), then the new school would be aware of this. They would have procedures in place to attempt to minimise any harm. The kid still deserves to be treated like a child though, and not a sexual predator.

Kids with sexualised behaviour are HARD. I've worked with some, and unfortunately if that's the case here, there WILL be incidents. What matters is that the school and all other parties involved take swift and effective action to assist all children and families involved.

[Blessedwith3boys]

I can understand why you'd be wary KG. The only time I would say it was ok for you to get involved would be if there were repeated issues between this child and your own children. How would you feel about a parent 'warning' a school about behaviour that your own child had engaged in before they even started there?

I understand it would have been distressing for your friend's daughter. It sounds as though the teachers responded swiftly which is very heartening. This boy is 6 - he is a child who is learning about appropriate and inappropriate behaviours, not a sexual deviant with a record as long as his arm.

wow so you think this is normal behaviour for a 6 year old? By this age a child should know right from wrong, what is or isn't appropriate. My 6 year old would never think of doing this sort of thing. He knows to keep his hands to himself and that no one touches his private parts, heck my 3.5yr old knows this too. If either of my children touched each other or anyone else alarm bells would ring for me. I sat the boys down this morning and let them know what had happened without mentioning any names and you could tell by the look on their faces they knew this behaviour was not right. Having been sexually abused myself as a child and recently enduring a 4 day trial where my nieces abuser was jailed for sexually abusing them for 4years, the entire subject is raw for me and I will do whatever possible to protect my children.

In my earlier post I mentioned dh and I used to associate with this child's foster parents. There's reasons for that. In short we saw things we didn't agree with and cut all ties. The poor children are no better off in their current placement than they were removed from. Our ds wouldn't even go near this child from day 1, just didn't like him for whatever reason when he usually likes everyone. My dh's police experience, he knows that behaviour of this nature at this young age is a recipe for disaster, there will be more incidents occurring more than likely. It's not the child's fault but it is how it is. And it is sexual assault regardless how young the perpetrator is. He knew what he was doing.

[harvs]

Not sure why you're quoting my post which I think was quite polite and understanding. Where did I say I thought this was normal behaviour?

ETA I disagree that a 6 year old should know right from wrong. That's why when a 6 year old commits a crime they aren't tried as an adult. Or a 7, 8, 9, 10 or 11 year old for the matter.

[Whirligig]

I work in OOHC. While the new school would not be provided with "the child's file" (children have a right to privacy too and there's a lot of third party and other confidential information in those files that is simply not relevant to the school environment), the child's caseworker and carer would have a meeting with the school prior to the child starting. Relevant information about behaviours and management strategies would be discussed. I'm not sure which state you're in, but in NSW each child in care is required to have an Individual Education Plan, so these planning meetings are mandated. Kids in care carry enough stigma throughout their lives already, I would leave to the immediate parties involved and educate my own children about protective behaviours in order to ensure they had firm boundaries.

[Jodes35]

wow so you think this is normal behaviour for a 6 year old? By this age a child should know right from wrong, what is or isn't appropriate. My 6 year old would never think of doing this sort of thing. He knows to keep his hands to himself and that no one touches his private parts, heck my 3.5yr old knows this too. If either of my children touched each other or anyone else alarm bells would ring for me. I sat the boys down this morning and let them know what had happened without mentioning any names and you could tell by the look on their faces they knew this behaviour was not right. Having been sexually abused myself as a child and recently enduring a 4 day trial where my nieces abuser was jailed for sexually abusing them for 4years, the entire subject is raw for me and I will do whatever possible to protect my children.

In my earlier post I mentioned dh and I used to associate with this child's foster parents. There's reasons for that. In short we saw things we didn't agree with and cut all ties. The poor children are no better off in their current placement than they were removed from. Our ds wouldn't even go near this child from day 1, just didn't like him for whatever reason when he usually likes everyone. My dh's police experience, he knows that behaviour of this nature at this young age is a recipe for disaster, there will be more incidents occurring more than likely. It's not the child's fault but it is how it is. And it is sexual assault regardless how young the perpetrator is. He knew what he was doing.

@harvs didn't say it was normal behaviour at all.

You have a right and an obligation to protect your own children. The parents of the young girl need to protect their own child.
The girl's parents should be the ones dealing with the school etc in regards to what happened. I don't think it's up to you. I would think that the school will not allow you to be involved because it doesn't involve you and there would be a level of confidentiality.