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    Default Help with step son

    My 8 year old step son (we get him on holidays, but he has lived with us for 3 mths, long story why he is back with mother) anyway I think that he might have some issues? Firstly he is incredibly good with numbers and maths, loves computers. The flip side is he struggles with social interactions except when they are a lot younger then him. Extreme anxiety when in a new social situation, has started punching his mum. When pulled up in something he is being naughty about, starts rubbing his eyes and face and alternating between saying he doesn't understand and he forgot what the question was.


    Now I am just the step mum here and have zero say over anything (although I have a say with my fiancé) but I think there might be something wrong here? Something that needs to be professionally diagnosed, any thoughts? Also fiancé has limited contact with birth mum (only through text, her option) and when he brings it up with her she just ignores it. It is hard when our child support payment is over $1400 a fortnight, fiancé is a good dad, but she has full custody and won't address any issues. DOCS have previously taken them off her for a brief period of time and they stayed with us, but once she was assessed to be ok again, the boys were taken back. How to we help him with what we have to work with?


    Sorry if this is rambling, but we want what is best for him, (and his brother) but are at our wits end in how to do this?

  2. #2
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    You are going to need to convince your DP to push the issue further. With the mother or with mediation etc. if that doesn't work I assume your DP has visitation? During a visit he can take his son to a doctor and get some advice. Then he can use that to either help convince his ex that help is needed, or push for partial custody. - are you living near the mother?

    Whatever you do, have your DP Carry out all the dealings with his ex/mediation. That way the mother won't think it's the new girlfriend interfering type thing.

    Best of luck

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    SuperGranny  (24-11-2014)

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    Unfortunately she moved to the other side of the country, so only get to see the boys on holidays and then only when she decides we can. It kills us that we can't do anything. DP has said he will pay for any doc/therapist, in case she didn't want to spend the money, but still nothing

  5. #4
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    oh gosh, fadinghope, that is hard. who else besides the birth mum has regular contact with the boys.? is there a grandparent who has some contact with partner.? is there any court mediations that can be used to put forth your concerns about the 8 yr old.? I agree the concerns would be better to come from the father, so you don't get labled as interfering. I cant see anyway forward without someone to push the mother into action. she needs to at least agree to having some assessment done. from what you have described I would think the boy has some level of autism?? im no expert. good luck, marie.

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    Just had a thought. If DOCS took the kids off her for a bit, they obviously have some concerns about her parenting. There has to be a caseworker right? They wouldn't just hand the kids back to her without any support..?.. If she doesn't respond to your hubby's attempts to discuss this (in person or mediation), could your hubby contact the case worker? Surely they would have the kids best interests at heart and can help talk the mother into getting an assessment (or mandate one?).

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    Sorry just logged back into this thread and was scanning down . For some reason I read your name as fartinghope.
    Oops.


 

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