Toby's never been a good sleeper, but this latest sleep drama is actually killing me slowly.
He goes to bed around 7, will sleep until 1:30-2:30am and then WON'T GO BACK TO SLEEP FOR HOURS. Like, 2 or more hours later he is still awake no matter what we do (leave him, cuddle him, feed him, bring into our bed). If someone is with him he's fine, if we leave him he screams hysterically. No one is getting sleep and it's really horrible.
Any ideas? He turned one last week. I have a referral to tresillian that i think we will be using.
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21-11-2014 02:23 #1
12 month old awake for hours in the middle of the night
21-11-2014 04:41 #2-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
How is his day naps?
How is his eating?
How does bub fall to sleep at night? (Dummy/rocking/patting etc)
What happens when bub wakes?
What is be temp in bubs room at bedtime and when bub wakes? What bedding is bub in?
21-11-2014 06:33 #3
1) he only has one day sleep, it's usually 2-3 hours long.
2) generally he eats like a horse. At the moment he's off his food, I think because he had his 12 month needles on Monday.
3) he usually falls asleep in his cot but I feed him til he's sleepy and then pat him in bed. This is something we've been trying to change for so long but he's an incredibly stubborn baby and changes are difficult (and I don't think I'm strong enough to fight him!) he had a dummy but he's not particularly attached anymore (ditching it is on the to do list).
4) when he wakes we wait a little while to see if he will settle himself. If he doesn't, one of us goes in, lies him back down and tries to get him back to sleep (patting). He used to fall back asleep really quickly but lately not so much. I'm wondering if it's a developmental thing (he's been walking for a month or so now, is speaking more every day and is about to cut his top front teeth).
5) unfortunately we don't have much control over this as we don't have a/c in there. Usually it hovers around 22C but last night it was 27 as it has been quite hot lately. He was dressed for it though I think, and the fan was on. He wasn't sweaty or anything when we went in. He usually wears a cotton bonds wonder suit (zippy one) and has a cotton waffle blanket (and a warmer one I add when I go to bed if needed). He's not in a sleeping bag as he slept even worse with one.
- bed is 7, wake up is 6:30-7
- he has music and a very dim light on
- he has a proper bedtime routine (dinner, bath, milk, story, bed)
- he's allegedly in a wonder week atm.
Like I said. He's crazy stubborn. The one time we tried CC due to desperation he was awake 5 hours later still getting up and refusing to lie down.
We generally aim to be gentle and not have him distressed about sleeping but apparently that's not working anymore so I think we need to dish out tough love. It's just so hard at 3am when you're exhausted to be tough.
21-11-2014 06:38 #4
My DS1 and both nephews did this when they were trying to master something. Ds1 would wake for 1-2 hours in the middle of the night and practice crawling, walking or talking. Used to last about a week. I just slept in his room till it was over. Im a big believer in taking the path of least resistance- especially at 3am!!! Good luck!
21-11-2014 06:40 #5
I don't know if it's of any use to you but when DS used to wake at that time we put him in our bed and put a DVD on to watch for him whilst we dozed to sleep. The DVD was on low and it was one that we knew would engage him. He also had to lie down and the angle of the TV on the wall meant he had to almost close his eyes to see it.
DH and I both worked full time so it was critical we all got as much sleep as we could. Our solution may have caused bad habits but in the meantime we all got sleep.
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21-11-2014 06:44 #6
My DS went through something similar at around that age, I think it's a developmental thing. I thought he would never sleep again😳
However it passed.
If it persists it could be related to sleeping too long in the day time.
21-11-2014 06:48 #7
Both my kids have done this when teething (especially molars). It took me so long to make the connection as to why they were awake for hours on end during the night. DS also did/does it during random other (?developmental) times. He has just turned 2 and the last bout was a few weeks ago. I am hoping that's the last of it. Drove me crazy. In terms of solutions, I am not sure. We just did what we had to so we got some sleep (lying next to his cot, tag-teaming a couple of hours each, etc.)
21-11-2014 07:05 #8
Thank you! I'm so glad I'm not alone. I have faith that it will pass now. I swear this kid was put on earth to torture me slowly.
21-11-2014 07:58 #9-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Hey there. A developmental phase may be making things worse but I don't think it's the only thing playing a part.
There are some things you can do, if they are in line with your parenting style, in order to promote sleeping through the night and reduce the impact on sleep of developmental phases. I may be shot for this but at 12 months unless there are medical issues bub should be able to sleep through most of the time.
My first thought is that 'negative' sleep aids (negative in the sense they can often involve adult intervention to rectify night wakings) are most likely impacting your bubs ability to self settle/resettle. If it were me I would ditch the dummy. Ditch the music (if bub wakes after the heaviest part of sleep eg 1-3am and the music isn't there bub will think "wtf... Where's my music!" ). I would ditch the patting or if you aren't comfortable with that do a watered down version. Eg a pat/shush technique I learned at he MACH clinic: with one hand pat the mattress above bubs head. Put the other hand on bubs tummy. "shush". After a couple of minutes take your hand off the tummy. Then after a couple of minutes stop patting the mattress, keep shushing. After a couple of minutes move slowly away from the bed. Soften the volume of the shush. Then stop.
One thing which I think could have a big impact is to introduce 20 minutes active play before bed. After the last feed, have play such as reading books, playing with blocks/cars/dolls etc. The idea is to help ensure bub is fully awake when you put them to bed so bub gets used to putting themselves to sleep instead of relying on music/dummy/feed etc.
I would also reduce the fuss at night and be consistent. No lights, no TV, no talking, no bed swapping. If parents continually put on a dog and pony show the kid will wake simply to get the dog and pony show. Feeding at night I would wean back on... At 12 months unless there are medical issues a bub doesn't need to feed overnight. Bub will likely get in the habit of waking simply to get the feed/comfort. Solids intake during the day will be impacted, bub will get hungry and wake at night, it's a vicious cycle.
Just remember it can take a week or so for any changes in routine to have an effect: hang in there and be consistent.
Last edited by VicPark; 21-11-2014 at 18:18.
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21-11-2014 09:34 #10
Have you tried some pain relief incase his teeth are bothering him? Not enough make him upset but enough that he can't fall back asleep
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