I have done both and didn't think the surprise was worth it. With first baby we decided to find out as we really wanted a girl so didn't want to be disappointed on the day. It was a boy and he was perfect. Second time I decided we would have a surprise as everyone always says how special it is. DH really wanted to know but we didn't find out. We also didn't come up with any names at all (we named him when he was around 3 weeks old). When he was born I was just so glad he was out I didn't care about gender. I asked DH but he hadn't checked either so we had a look and it was a boy. To be honest he could've been a monkey I really didn't care. I was just glad labour was over and I was holding my perfect little baby (that just happened to have a penis!)
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17-11-2014 22:01 #21Senior Member
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17-11-2014 22:21 #22Senior Member
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- Feb 2013
I only have one and we had a surprise. I really wanted a boy but was convinced we were having a girl, mainly my mind's way of getting me used to the fact that I may not get my longed for boy. But by the end of the pregnancy I was just so excited to meet our baby I really didn't care in the end. Our beautiful DS was born via c-section and no one announced his gender, he was simply held up for us to see for ourselves and it was such a special moment. I remember clearly saying "oh it IS a boy". Still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it.
17-11-2014 22:47 #23
We didn't find out with either of ours so I can't compare it with finding out. For baby no1 I was sure it was a girl from the moment I found out I was pregnant and I was right. I remember the moment DH lifted her as she was born so clearly - the midwife said "and we have a...?" and DH just stood there stunned, holding this squirmy baby and said "I don't know!". A few seconds later he said "it's a girl!" and then started crying. He still insists he didn't cry lol.
With our second, I was again convinced we were having a girl - the pregnancy was so similar - but I was wrong. When DS came out I saw he was a boy and I was so excited! It was an amazing moment and I was riding that high for ages. Deep down I really wanted a boy.
For us, getting pregnant is not easy so it was nice to have something be a surprise rather than it be another test result. Everything up to that point was so clinical - you have x follicles, this many embryos, this transfer date, this blood test result... I wanted to find something out for myself rather than have another medical person tell me.
All that aside, I totally understand why people find out and the birth would be special regardless.
18-11-2014 20:18 #24
Our first was a surprise. It was frustrating not being able to buy gender specific things, but my DD was my reward for a tough Labour.
This time we've found out the gender and it is easier. We haven't had to buy anything and it's been good for DD1 (6) because she's been able to bond with baby before she's even here.
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