But, having said that, I knew a caucasian / maori couple who had twin boys - one with pale skin, brown hair & brown eyes and the other with brown skin, blonde hair and blue eyes!
You just never know with genetics. But if you need to put your mind at ease by testing, just get some counseling to help you through it, and legal advice about what to do from there (if anything).
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13-11-2014 13:21 #31
13-11-2014 13:38 #32Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2014
I am currently preg after a successful IVF and the thought crossed our minds but I guess that is why the staff and embryologist are so strict on making you state your name and date of birth so often. I've only ever heard of a mix up or something similar happening over in Italy.
On another note I'm an IVF baby of the 80's and do NOT look anything like my parents or brothers in terms of hair colour, eye or skin. They're all darker or tan easily whereas I'm on the fairer side of life. However, once I started to grow up you could see traits such as my mother's smile, face shape and grandmother's eye.
Good Luck on your decision!
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13-11-2014 13:44 #33Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
I wouldnt do the test myself but I know it would play on my mind forever more.
My cousin is dark skinned and has one black and one white baby..
Can you see anything familiar in your boy? Even his forehead shape or eyes?
13-11-2014 13:50 #34
Hugs xx that's a tough decision to make regarding testing or not. I think you have been given some very good advice in terms of thinking if knowing would change anything for you and your partner.
Our first was IVF and I always had that thought in my head of 'what if they put someone else's embryo back', especially as we transferred our frosties to a different clinic before doing a FET.
Once he was born, it was easy to see he was definitely our child. Our naturally conceived child however, is a total throwback. He is fair haired, fair skinned & has bright blue eyes. DH and I are both dark haired, olive skin. He looks very different to both of us and his older brother. I get a lot of comments asking me who he takes after or supposedly funny comments about him 'being the milkmans child'. So just remember that not all kids are spitting images of their parents xx
13-11-2014 15:23 #35
I would expect this is a normal thought; it's crossed my mind. DH and I are polar opposites complexion-wise. I have brown hair & eyes, & olive skin, he's fair, blond haired and blue eyed. So unless there is a strong trait neither of us have, we'll probably just assume our future kids are a nice mix.
That said, I looked NOTHING like my mum when I was little. She is also fair, and I looked like a little native american baby / toddler. People always assumed she was my nanny. Now that I'm older, while we are different complexion, there is no mistaking we are related.
13-11-2014 15:49 #36
TBH the issue is not something we have ever given a thought to or discussed. Our clinic is very thorough though, we were taken through a step by step process and into the lab and saw the labelling being done etc. We do trust our specialist who is the head of the clinic and his staff wholeheartedly though and know the head of the clinic well and seen how strict he is with his staff, he has high expectations. Guess there is always a low possibility of an error happening though.
All 3 boys look alike and you can see dh and I in them.
It sounds like you will go crazy op if you let it go and don't get genetic testing. If I had any doubt I would want to know. Not sure how I would feel if it turned out a child wasn't mine, of course I would still love and want the child but I would also want to find my biological child if it turned out that a mixup had occurred.
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13-11-2014 16:12 #37
I would want to know for the child's sake and my own piece of mind but I would find out with the intention of keeping the results private. Also I would worry if the child was not genetically mine, to make sure they are not hooking up with potential family members in future (I don't know how this could be prevented but knowing the potential is there is a start I guess).
Good luck with your decision OP! X
Last edited by Chillies; 14-11-2014 at 02:58.
19-11-2014 17:03 #382 IVF/PGD babies
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
I read this question then watched dinosaur train on ABC with my 16 month old ivf son.The theme song made me think of your situation. Especially the mother's words "this is your family and I am your mum... (We all) have different features."Dinosaur Train theme: http://youtu.be/sNpoEoXi1lE
19-11-2014 17:50 #39
Do both you and DH know your family tree well? I mean generations back, there is such a thing as genetic throw backs where people havent known about a certain race in their blood lines and then all of a sudden this little dark baby pops up and no one knows where it came from, but 100% belongs to the parents
19-11-2014 18:14 #40Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
I'd tread carefully before doing any testing. What if it turned out that you son is your genetic offspring, but your (or father of baby's) parents or grandparents are not who you think they are? Is that something you would want to know?
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