I have problems with large groups of people ....talking on the phone to strangers. ...I guess you can say that I am introverted. ...
I like and enjoy my own company most of the time other timed I wish that I wasn't the way I am but hey what can you do ...
My husband just doesn't understand (to be honest he doesn't try)..
If I ask him to make a phone call on my behalf he gets angry at me and thinks that it should be easy ....
I just get so frustrated and wish he could see how I feel and how it make me feel ...
Can anyone relate.....
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11-11-2014 17:33 #1
I get soo frustrated he just doesn't understand. .
11-11-2014 17:45 #2
I could have written that! I get so nervous about social gatherings and making phone calls. My DH gets pretty frustrated so over time I've just stop expressing my issues.
I've worked really hard to improve my self esteem which has helped. Now when I walk into a gathering I tell myself this
"These people invited me, they like me for me so relax and be you"
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11-11-2014 18:17 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
You are not alone! I really struggle with social gatherings of more than a couple of people... My DP is pretty good about it mostly but he does say things like 'it's just a party, it's supposed to be fun', 'Just relax & enjoy yourself'... hmmm. But I get that he doesn't understand because he's never had an issue with it himself & his family are all super-extroverts.
I weigh up each event eg. how important is it to my DP that I do this? Will I regret it later if I don't? If I decide it's best to do it then I tough it out. I have found it helpful to ask lots of questions as people like talking about themselves & then I focus on them & concentrate on what they're saying & that distracts me from my anxiety.
I really like your strategy mummymaybe - very clever & rational! I'll be trying that too!!!
11-11-2014 18:19 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
I can't relate because I was/am in your husband's position. DH still hates large crowds so we compromise. I am a lot more sociable than he is but I will limit how many 'large crowd' thing we do. In return, he attend the ones we have agreed on without whingeing and trying to hurry us all up. In regards to the phone I can see why he is frustrated. Not an easy thing for you I know and DH was the same. In the end I point blank refused at times and he has had to find way to deal the anxiety.
11-11-2014 18:40 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2014
Do you seek help for your anxiety? I can't relate on a personal level, I get nervous around people I don't know but it's not anxiety, but my exDP was like this and it would drive me nuts as he actually didn't do anything to try and improve his anxiety. That was the hardest thing for me, that he could see a problem but didn't actively seek out assistance with strategies etc. I hope you don't take that the wrong way but just trying to offer another view point.
11-11-2014 19:08 #6
11-11-2014 19:56 #7
psychologist would give some concrete tools on how to better deal with your anxiety.
11-11-2014 19:56 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
11-11-2014 20:21 #9
I'm exactly the same. I've got the mental health care plan, been to a psych, got a social phobia and ptsd diagnosis.. Personally i didn't find it very helpful but everyone is different. You could try medication. I found AD's take the anxiety down a notch. All meds aren't without side effects though so you have to weigh up whether they are worthwhile. Hmm.. you can try natural methods too... magnesium &b12 supplements, exercise, meditation, etc... are all possibilities worth exploring.
It absolutely sucks having anxiety and people that don't experience it, just don't get it. Sufferers are often just viewed upon as being rude, up their self, difficult, etc.. it's really not helpful in the grand scheme of things.
I hope you can get you husband to understand it all a bit better and yoi get some help. Good luck!
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