Thanks for sharing and understanding. I get so easily frustrated at being pushed and pulled in every direction that having some freedom this year has really amplified how much I need 'me' time and made me less patient when I do have an entire day with DS. Each day I vow to be more patient and a better more carefree mum, but each day I struggle to enjoy that and just can't wait for him to go to bed at night!
I do have fun with DS, but I also often find it tedious as I have so many other things that need doing. One thing I am grateful for though is how close I am with DS. We're like an old married couple, he is a great kid. I'm the one who needs to learn more patience and allow him to do things in his own time a bit more rather than boom at him to 'do it now please' all the time. Sometimes I think he is more grown up than me.
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09-11-2014 09:10 #11
09-11-2014 09:39 #12
Oh I feel the same with my ds, sometimes we have great days and some days I lose my patience with him all the time.
Once he just kept going and going and I snapped and yelled in his face to 'Just Stop please' it broke my heart that the next day I saw him do the same thing to his sister.
I sometimes cry myself to sleep I feel so terrible and really really try... I also am the main carer and have not had any time away from them in months unless I'm at work.. Although my husband helps he is working 2 jobs and trying to renovate our house...
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09-11-2014 09:53 #13
Yes it's been a very difficult 4 years and maybe a lot of the stress has become too close to the surface at this point. I've decided to drop back on my study a bit and work on my stress levels. More exercise will help too. Big hugs Meld.
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09-11-2014 12:04 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
I've been like you ladies lately. My big trigger is when I'm in a hurry and trying to get the kids to do something quickly. They get distracted or stop and fight and it makes me so mad. I just feel like one day I'll need them to get in the car super quick and they won't do it and something bad will hPpen so I want them to learn how to do it now.
09-11-2014 14:06 #15
Well OP by the responses I think your not alone. I feel like the wicked witch of the house, my neighbour must think what a cow. My snaps come when Theres something happening in every direction, can hear the baby crying and the toddlers and kids are in all different directions all doing something that they shouldn't be and I'm trying to finish what I'm doing to get to the baby but I can see one DS pulling things out of the cupboard and know he's going to tip that box of cereal the others are fighting or crying, ones writing on the wall-
SEX and The City #2 when Charlotte is baking one child is crying non stop the other one playing with the colour and handprint on her skirt and she snaps and sits in the pantry crying, similar to that but my snaps are sadly louder than hers.
I need to control my emotions before I yell, sometimes however there's no other option when one is strangling the other and you can't race across as your b/feeding, then the baby comes off and starts crying so maybe shouldn't yell then either. I honestly love my kids to death I have no me time and I really hope they don't think I hate them its hard with your kids young and with you 24/7. But as another poster has given great advice to apologise I will
09-11-2014 14:17 #16
Sorry this witch would like to add another trigger for me is when your getting the kids ready by yourself and your so late from a mix of sleeping in and changing the kids again and they've dirtied their clothes in the process of locking the front door and someone's done something like taken off their shoes again and left then inside arrrrg neighbour "oh things like that don't bother me"
Last edited by Mummy5ormore; 09-11-2014 at 14:22.
09-11-2014 14:31 #17-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Yep, I totally get it. I had been pretty cranky recently and yelling at my DS1 who is in the the middle of the terrible toddler years. I tried to stop but couldn't. I was just so frustrated all the time. Like Amyd one of my triggers is if we are running late and DS1 is stuffing around. One day ds1 was crying after I told him off for something and he was saying in between sobs "mummy I sad." Broke my heart. Since then I've been much more successful at controlling my frustration. Been much calmer when putting ds1 in the corner. If I feel tension building I think .."you've got to go the opposite way or you will regret it." So I do something like start tickling ds1 and then pull him to the ground for a muck around wrestle match.
I've tried to look at the reasons why I'm getting cranky. And I don't actually think it's really to do with ds1 at all. I feel am not getting enough 'me' time to myself. And I have been staying silent on this. And I resent that hubby has been slipping on the home front... Ie the share of house chores/free time once hubby is home hasn't been 50-50 lately. So I have to address that and keep ds1 out of it. I don't think the mini pill has been helpful either.
I was wondering whether I was abnormal for getting frustrated with my toddler so this thread has been eye opening.
Hubby said the other day I seem to be getting along better with ds1 and he is really responding behavioral wise (might also helped that he's just gone through a development phase and can express himself better).
09-11-2014 14:41 #18
We ended up seeing a behavioural psychologist for dd1 at the recommendation of my gp as things were out of control. The first few appointments were going through what I do to manage her behaviour, talking about my upbringing and how it affects my parenting, going through the same with dh. It was a real eye opener and very confronting. She agreed a lot if the strategies I was using were good, but the fact dh wasnt on board with it meant dd1 knew she could play us against each other and it caused a lot of tension. After a few sessions, dh understood why I was doing what I was doing and we were on the same page. We felt more in control, we were a lot more relaxed and you know what? Dd1 settled right down! The calmer I was with her the better she responded. And it happens now as well- when I am stressed and snappy and there is tension in the house (which is a lot these days), I am less tolerant and snap a lot easier, the kids in turn react more which sets me off more... its a vicious cycle. But when things are calm, I dont snap and am more relaxed, the kids are calmer and respond better and so on.
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09-11-2014 14:51 #19
Another point that I try to remember is the saying that is something like your kids need your love the most when they deserve it the least. I think that probably starts with the toddler years.
09-11-2014 15:10 #20
Maybe put a timer on and tell him you guys will do what ever he wants while that timer is in. Totally his choice. Then you can do maybe 5 mins 5x a day? The increase as you are ready?
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