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  1. #1
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    Default I'm a bad mum. Anger issues.

    I know I'm a fab mum in so many ways. But I've fallen short lately and tonight DS mentioned my anger twice! He feels sad when I get angry. I get angry pretty easily these days and have little patience. The fact is, I've overloaded myself and am so busy. I went from sahm who worked PT to working and studying 2 courses and full-on busy. It made me feel so good after years of DS focus but now I think we're both feeling the strain if it. I think I liked the me time do much that I became more impatient with DS time if that makes sense? You know, the more freedom you get from the child(ren) the more you need or something? I just find it really annoying to have to play with DS for any period of time now whereas I used to do it all day!

    Anyway, DS is a quiet child and for him to mention my regular anger/impatience with him is heartbreaking. He looked genuinely sad when he said it and I know he is justified as deep down I already know I'm too impatient lately and hard on him. Can anyone understand this? Is it something you've been through?

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    Hugs...my story is not the same but similar. I feel like that sometimes, I get impatient and frustrated towards DD. For me its that I'm an introvert, most times would rather be quite and doing something or even just sitting doing nothing DD on the one hand is very chatty and extroverted. She's ever so bubbly and wants to be by myside chatting by afternoon everyday I'm so frustrated I snap. I just found ways to deal with it, put music on..that gets her quite and dancing or tell her I need some rest time she usually understands..for 4 minutes.

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    Ellewood  (08-11-2014)

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    Massive hugs. I can totally relate. I feel like I yell at my kids more than talk. I try to be conscious of it and try to walk away/go to the bathroom until I calm down but 9/10 times they follow me and I snap. My dd2 is a very sensitive kid and she told me she thinks I don't love her when I yell. Broke my heart.

    I try not to lose it, I really do. And I am getting better. But 4 kids plus a teen plus being on my own with them for weeks at a time, having them with me 24/7 it takes its toll.

    Stay strong mumma. You are an awesome mummy because you care. Can you set a time aside each day dedicated solely to your ds? At least for now, he gets the joy of having his mummy play with him and you know its for this certain time, its not going to go all day. And then maybe slowly increase the time? Or can you to a park or something for a picinic, and enjoy being in the fresh air and sunshine? I dont know, these are things I try to do if I feel the snap coming.

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    Last edited by SheWarrior; 08-11-2014 at 22:25.

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    Ellewood  (08-11-2014)

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    Thanks ever so much. I just don't know how to change. I'll have more time soon to think about it I guess. I've been just too crazy busy. But lots of parents are crazy busy and don't have anger issues, so that's no excuse. Ugh. I've become so selfish.

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    Subbing. I don't have as many pressures as you but I am so guilty of constantly screaming at my kids and losing patience with them. I am normally a patient person but don't know why when it comes to the kids I have no self control.

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    Default I'm a bad mum. Anger issues.

    Your post speaks to me @Ellewood. I don't have anger issues in that DS is so little I am able to hold back, but I feel like I spend most of my time 'rising above'. I don't know the answer, but wanted you to know you're not alone.

    I think there is something in what you said - I know now that the more me time I have the more I kind of 'resent' or notice when I don't
    have it.

    For me I block out times every day where I have to have to follow DS lead. Like the fifteen minutes when he comes back from cc is all him. And first fifteen of the day unless he sleeps late on a work day. Just touching base but not for so long that I struggle.

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    Oh I totally understand where you are coming from! Studying and working and raising children! It's hard! But I keep on telling myself it will be worth it in the end. As for losing patience - I have no answer for that because I am guilty of that myself. It is an awful feeling. Don't be so hard on yourself is all I can say. I'm sure that all Mums (studying/working/stay at home) all go through this at some point?!?!!?!

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    I can so relate! I swear my neighbors must think I yell all the time! Like you I keep myself very busy so when it comes to weekends I want some down time or to get the house clean but DS is very full on and I snap easily. My other half is away a lot with work so I get very little down time or help.

    I had hoped a little holiday would relax me and it did for a few days but today has been another crappy day with loads of shouting

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    I relate totally

    I get soooo frustrated with DD and I end up yelling (which I know she hates and doesnt respond well to so is totally counterproductive) ... but cant seem to help it.

    She knows just how to push my buttons

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    Quote Originally Posted by crankyoldcow View Post
    :

    On thing I do, which I think is important is I apologise to my kids if I feel I have been too shouty or have been too hard on them.
    Yep, all I seem to be doing these days is saying sorry to my kids for being Yelly McYellypants. I'm just so tired and week days when the big two are at school and only the toddler is at home are mostly ok but the weekends are just horrendous and I hate myself and hate feeling so inadequate - I just want a break!

    I guess the good thing is that I know that this is the time of year, it's not all the time. But it bloody suck atm.


 

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