Do you have someone that you can have at the birth with you ..?
Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
+ Reply to Thread
Results 71 to 80 of 148
08-11-2014 09:58 #71
08-11-2014 10:12 #72Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
i wish i could jump on a plane and come be your support person thru labour birth and the few days afterwards..
i wish you so much luck
08-11-2014 13:43 #73
So because i am so heavily pregnant now i ended up allowing him to move back in but into the spare room as I feel i really need someone here for in case of anything, as i had complications last time and i have some fears of being alone and it happening again. I feel pathetic arranging that, but I made it extremely clear this is a temporary thing, he may still be needed here until new baby is a couple months old and i am adjusted. And then we'll look into selling the house and going separate ways.
Even though he promised he wouldn't, when he arrived today he went straight into begging me to give him another chance and that he will cancel all his internet accounts as he is finally aware that he crosses the line on them. All this was meant to have been promised after the last couple times... so anything he says now is just **** to me. He kept at me telling me he refuses to believe we are over, so i ended up losing it and ordering him out - he refused to leave so i said fine go and re-activate your hi5 account, re-add her and message her right now asking to meet her. I probably sound like an absolute maniac now. But for this to work we need to also move on and i want him to continue now with this thing with her so he can move on and be here solely to be a father and maybe drive me to the hospital once im in labor. I don't care anymore about him and this woman, I want them to be together because they deserve each other. He can move on, live happily ever after since our marriage was worth disrespecting for her. But that she is to not be around our son until my husband is sure she isn't a psycho. I realise now that we're separated i am going to have to accept he will date and have people around my kids and I will have no say.
So i made him message her telling her we are now separated and he wants to meet up and continue to get to know her. Of course he is claiming he doesn't want that now, but i am sure if i get the ball rolling for him with her again they can carry on. I guess this isn't what he wanted though as it was supposed to be done behind my back and we were supposed to remain together with her on the side.
You all probably think i have gone off my head now. Maybe I have but with doing this and forcing him to move on while being here is what's making me feel empowered now that this is serious this time as I don't want to stay with him now, i don't want to work it out... and the only way i can have him here to help me is if he is moving on and chatting up all the women his heart desires and to leave me alone and just be a dad. I just don't care anymore and done with his issues. All i care about now is my DS and unborn baby and myself. **** him. He can do his job then **** off once i don't need him here. If he doesn't like it then i told him to leave and ill go rely on someone else if i need it.
I definitely must sound insane. And I guess i have gone off the deep end again, i am highly stressed and pregnant, but i feel calm... and at least i feel i now have the courage to give birth without him there or anyone there now because as far as I am concerned he and I are no more and he is pursuing this older woman and that's that.
So yeah no i wont have anyone by my side during labor. It wasn't what I had planned but I don't care anymore. Yes i am feeling vulnerable and afraid a bit, but it is what it is. My life is just one big mess anyways so what's another thing to add to the mix. Bring it on. I am now looking at it as something i need to achieve on my own to then feel empowered to my beginning as a single mum who will eventually be out on her own with her kids and no family support. My mum is trying to reach out but yeah been down that road and the fact i called her after her cutting me off and saying some pretty horrible things will be feeding her narcissistic energy and basically i will be selling my soul. I need to believe i can do this without anyone. Other women do it so i will.
Oh and apparently his parents are giving him hell over this and are offering to help pay for bills for us now so no further strain is on us. They are wanting to hand over $300. Apparently he has accepted that help and im not happy about it and i want them paid back then next pay. I guess they feel if they help take away some pressure from us it will give their son a chance to make things better for him. They are apparently horrified that he has done this when I am about to give birth. But they're not fooling me... the last time he acted completely inappropriately towards a female friend (blatantly hitting on her on facebook private messages he accidentally left open) and i kicked him out, the inlaws believed I was over reacting that he can look and flirt all he likes and if he sleeps with her as long as he is still here being a father and husband whats the issue? ****ing disgusting. And now they finally think his behavior is bad though because they're looking very forward to being more in DS's life and their pending granddaughter. Whatever. Oh well at least they're finally somewhat on my side for once, not that i really care if they are or aren't.
Last edited by Serenity Love; 08-11-2014 at 13:47.
08-11-2014 19:51 #74Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
I think it's fair enough you've asked him back to help. You really need it right now. I hope you are ok? How was your afternoon?
08-11-2014 19:55 #75
You're doing what you need to do. No one will think you're crazy for doing what you need to. I just hope he stops hassling you. Hugs
08-11-2014 20:14 #76
What a B******. Hugs
08-11-2014 20:39 #77-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Hun whatever you do try and keep your cool... Don't give your hubby any ammunition to use in court if a custody dispute occurs.
The Following User Says Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:
08-11-2014 21:03 #78
I don't think your crazy and I don't think anyone else would. You are about to give birth and have a lil one at home so you need him to help there is absolutely nothing crazy or wrong with what you have done. Big cyber hugs, sending positive thoughts your way for a smooth delivery and easy transition into having 2 lil ones xx
08-11-2014 21:57 #79
I am finding it hard to keep my cool at times as he keeps moping around the house and begging me to give him one more chance. And its making me get very very angry so then i scream at him. I have been so up and down. Been crying a lot tonight as i think about everything we had planned just going down the drain. We have been working towards selling as soon as i can return to work and starting our lives over in the mountains. I also was looking to find a new job as my current job has relocated into the city which wont work for me with 2 kids, so i was going to start a fresh ...but now i feel terrified of that and feel like ill have to cut my mat leave short and get back into the field asap so i can get myself prepared to make the move after we sell. The realisation now that I will be renting a house for the rest of my life is upsetting me. I am not counting on meeting anyone else as ill be a single mum with 2 young kids, who will want that. So i am afraid of battling on my own. I am so upset he has done this to us and ruined everything.
I have slight moments where i just want to say to him ill stay with him just so ill feel safer financially and i get to make sure my kids have a decent roof over their head. But then the thought of just carrying on after all this seems impossible. I never ever want to sleep with him, hug or kiss him or anything ever again so how would it even work. The fact he got me to wax him ready for his meet up with that woman is just making me feel physically ill. I know why he did that too - she likes men even younger than my husband. On her hi5 account its all younger handsome men on her friends list and i can tell now my husband was trying to match up to them.... why this all just sucks so much. I just dont think ill ever trust him and be able to move on from this like i have with the other times he has messed up like this.
Im not good, im fricken suffering a lot. Im so distressed. Never felt like this in my life why the man i love and trusted has done this to me.
08-11-2014 22:00 #80
also on facebook i am part of a parenting page and seeing pics of women who have just given birth having their first photo with their baby and husbands is unbearable. Im going to be alone this time.. there will be no sweet family photo with us. Im feeling so jealous of women having their husbands supporting them during their births and cuddling the baby afterwards. I hate admitting that but i really am. I hope this feeling goes away and I eventually feel grateful for what i do have, even if its not much anymore. I dont want to be jealous of other peoples happiness but is because i am just so upset.
By RuffledPansy in forum General ChatReplies: 19Last Post: 26-08-2014, 13:58
By misho in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & ChatReplies: 1Last Post: 16-01-2014, 20:08
The Health Hub & Glowing ExpectationsGlowing Expectations is conveniently located at The Health Hub in Darlinghurst. We offer pre & post natal personal ...
LATESTGames to play with your baby – newborn to 12 monthsHow much food for babies and toddlers? Standard serves and portion sizesHow to mindfully manage a tantrum
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Booster seat for 7+Safety Issues
Tea drinkers unite!General Chat
Finding My Cooking MojoGeneral Chat
Has anyone had success on First or Second Cycle of Donor IUI?Non-IVF fertility assistance
Being a foster carerFoster carers, kinship carers & grandparent carers
IVF Babies due Sep/Oct/Nov 2017 #2pregnancy and babies through IVF
What do you use to listen to music?Product Recommendations & Questions
First world problems.General Chat
Egg Donation in Greece #5Egg Donation