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07-11-2014 11:01 #81
07-11-2014 11:52 #82
07-11-2014 12:04 #83
Like I said, I wouldn't ever want to offend the host by doing things the wrong way.
wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
07-11-2014 12:27 #84
I expect them to play with DD because that's why they stay with us but otherwise I don't expect anything... If they're keeping her entertained I can do all the bits I need to do anyway.
07-11-2014 13:29 #85-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
You can ask what they would like you to do. If they say nothing, then you back off and give them space. If they say "chop the carrots" you can ask "would you like me to chop them long or round." There is no reason why an offer of help needs to be a problem for the hosts....?... In my circle at least the greatest risk of causing offence would come from not offering to help at all.
Last edited by VicPark; 07-11-2014 at 13:48.
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07-11-2014 13:33 #86
General helping of tidying up after dinner - washing/drying up, clearing the table etc.
My parents also try and give us $50 or so to contribute to groceries
They also look after DS for me if I need to get something done- eg: last time they were here I really needed to get some work done and they pretty much looked after him all day for one day while I stayed in the office/study.
If they are here a few days mum would also offer to hang out washing or do something like that.
They generally offer to help cook dinner, but DH cooks and likes to do it himself and they know that. They still offer though, even though they know he'll decline.
Last edited by Justwant2beamummy; 07-11-2014 at 13:36.
07-11-2014 13:41 #87
I will always offer to help. If I stay at someone's house I will wash the dishes without being asked. Always clean up after ourselves in regards to bedding etc
If its someone at my house it depends what mood im in, sometimes I accept the help especially with cooking, other times im so chuffed with their politeness that I shoo them away
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07-11-2014 13:50 #88
My parents used to live away and came to stay pretty regularly for between 3 days and 2 weeks. The only thing I expected was they play with and do stuff with the kids, which they always offered to do (bath them, read bedtime stories, play with them while I was cooking etc). If they offered to help I would usually say, nah, just play with the kids. They were there primarily to visit the kids though.
They would usually shout us a meal out while they were down, cleaned up after themselves (stripped the bed etc when leaving). I never felt it was a chore having them.
I guess in your situation I would be honest, say they are making more work for you and it would be helpful if they could do X.
07-11-2014 13:57 #89Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
07-11-2014 14:13 #90
Im very surprised that you are tip toeing around your father like that.
Just call it like it is. Nothing like some honest brutal truth
It's fairly ok to expect that they clean behind themselves etc.
When my parents visit yes I expect then to pull their weight. I do the same when I visit them or my brothers.
We're all adults and it's nice to do stuff together! I would never dream of doing nothing while staying with family.
Actually my ILs are like that. When we visit them we are not allowed to do anything!! No cooking, no cleaning, no laundry, it's like being at a hotel but better.
I was so uncomfortable the first week I stayed with them but now I understand that's how they roll.
They are coming to visit us for the first time... 4 weeks... You just made me realize it might be our turn to be their maids!
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