I only expected the exes parents to play with my ds as they live overseas and it was always about them seeing him .
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06-11-2014 20:07 #11
06-11-2014 20:09 #12
I don't expect them to do anything but my family (especially my mum) can't stop themselves from helping.
My grandparents visited for a couple of nights recently and both my kids were really sick (went down the night before they arrived with hand, foot and mouth and tonsillitis so vomiting, high temps etc). My grandparents were fantastic, didn't even ask them to do anything but they both rolled up the sleeves and helped with washing, cooking and my pop even cleaned our pool.
06-11-2014 20:57 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
My mum and dad are 79 and 70.
When they stay, they vacuum, mop, wash dishes and weed the garden. Without me asking. They also pay for groceries whilst they are here.
I hope to do the same for my kids one day.
When friends come they help with dishes, make their own beds and treat meals at cafés etc.
06-11-2014 21:07 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
I don't expect guests to do anything. They're guests.
06-11-2014 21:08 #15
Parents - wipe up, watch and play with children. Make their own cuppas.
Others - nothing at all.
06-11-2014 21:09 #16
06-11-2014 21:09 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2014
It depends on who the guest is really. If my parents stayed I would expect they'd help out with the grandkids and clean up after themselves (dishes in dishwasher etc.) but honestly having the kids entertained is a huge help in itself.
Then we have a man DH works with stay with us from time to time as he has to travel for work. The longest stint was him staying Mon-Fri for three months. I asked him to keep the toilet seat down (one bathroom house so 6 people sharing one bathroom when he stays) and to clean up after himself. I had to ask him to do these things though...he would make breakfast and leave everything out everywhere, including leaving his plate in the lounge room for me to clean up. I suspect his wife does it all for him at home. He was fine and changed his habits. I told DH if he kept it up at home his DW would need to thank me . He is a meat and three veg type of man, and we are not, so I let him know what was on the menu each night and asked if he was eating with us. I didn't make special meals for him. I washed his clothes, would fold them and hand them to him when they were done, and make sure we have food in the house that he enjoys (stuff we tend not to have) but I don't expect or ask him to entertain the kids at all. He's here on business, not to socialise so it makes a big difference. He is really the only house guest we have....our house is tiny and we have no space for extra people. When relatives visit they stay with my parents as they have a guest room, and we offer a blow up mattress in our dining room.
06-11-2014 21:10 #18
I don't expect guests in my house to do anything but take it easy and play with DS if they so desire. If they do any chores around the house it is appreciated but I really prefer they didn't. I don't like to put people to work.
06-11-2014 21:10 #19
Nothing. But when my mum comes around she fusses about because clearly she thinks I'm a child and can't manage to keep a house on my own, so I've learnt to just grit my teeth (my favourite new phrase, thanks @Mokeybear) and let her do her thing.
This is for short term guests. If it was more of a long-term thing I would probably want them to do their own washing because I loathe it and cook with me because that's fun. But that's all.
06-11-2014 21:11 #20
My sister and her boyfriend often stay with us as they live interstate. They do nothing. Not even clean up after themselves... They whine until they get a cooked breakfast and don't even offer to clean. They expect lifts everywhere and whine when they have to do things with us like go to get groceries on the way to dropping them at the cinema. Next time they come I will be setting ground rules about breakfasts, poor DP having to constantly cook and clean for them while watching a baby, and poor us for the demands and stress they put on us.
I don't know what I'd expect in this particular situation though... If they were my parents I'd do everything for them, but only because they do everything for DP and I when we stay and we only see them around 5 times a year for a few days at most.
I don't think it's too much to ask that they tidy after themselves and help themselves to cereals and toast and sandwiches for breakfast and lunch.
Your house your rules VP! Ask of them what you want because you're not a hotel, you're a household.
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