No. It does not mean that you have PND just because you dont enjoy being a Stay at home mum.
Actually - that doesnt mean that you dont enjoy being a Mum ... just because staying at home all day with 2 small children doesnt fulfill you it doesnt make you a bad Mum at all ... it just means that it doesnt fill you with joy. Its perfectly normal
Some people really are fulfilled and enjoy that day to day 'groundhog' small children phase ... and others dont. Some people really like the little baby stage, or the 4/5 yr old stage .... and others dont.
There are a few things you can think about to make it a little better
- can you put them (or even just the older one) in child care and do some casual work, or volunteer or do something for yourself regularly.
- perhaps do something at home .. a hobby or an interest that will give you something for you
- maybe study or a training course. Photography, art, language ... anything that is going to give you some personal satisfaction really
- excercise. it sounds ridiculous and its often incredibly difficult with small children, but a short amount of excercise regularly (once or twice a week) WILL make you feel better. It doesnt have to be full on ... just something you enjoy like a walk, a run, a bike ride, a gym class, swimming ... whatever you like doing.
- always remember that this too will pass. The kids WILL grow, and become more active and more interesting. Once the older one starts school and they have activities and play dates. They have conversations with you and become their own little person ... it gets to be much more fun and much less isolating
- chat here on bubhub. It saved my sanity when DD was little as I found it very lonely being at home with no one to talk to ... but I could chat with friends, have conversations and help people. Be an actual adult
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Results 11 to 18 of 18
06-11-2014 13:11 #11
06-11-2014 13:40 #12
Subbing as ive been asking myself the same thing. Due with ds anyday now and I dont know how I will cope with dd 21 months and a newborn
Im finding toddlerhood tough and oh so mundane! Now to throw a newborn in the mix... hope I can cope
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06-11-2014 15:35 #13
Thanks everyone for your responses, I agree I don't think it's PND, but I definitely could be tKing everything in my stride more.
Thank you @KatiesMum, some great suggestions there. I'm lucky that DD goes with her grandparents twice a week, I just need to pull out my finger on the hobbies and interests, I need to MAKE me time and make sure I get as much of it as possible. I must admit, I can't wait for the day both kids are no longer toddlers, I know I'll enjoy those times more, especially as I'll be back at work, I'm just wary that I don't want to wish my life away - I just can't help it when I'm stuck in a rut and prefer to think about the future good times, rather than make the present the best it can be.
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06-11-2014 16:25 #14
Wow this thread makes me feel so much better about my own feelings towards motherhood.
Katiesmum, that was a brilliant post!
06-11-2014 16:38 #15-
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
Now if anyone could could give me consructive advice when i don't want a baby at all in any way shape or form and i am having one in a few weeks......i would be very happy. I had two prems and technically it could even happen tomorrow. :?
06-11-2014 16:43 #16
Great post katiesmum
06-11-2014 17:07 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2014
06-11-2014 17:16 #18
Yesterday I was in tears. Bub was crying and wouldn't sleep at all during the day. I just couldn't take it any more. He cried and I cried along with him. But then I propped him up on a pillow just to get him off me for a short stint and he gave me this massive double dimple smile. All my frustration just melted away. They are amazing little creatures and it is incredible to watch them grow.
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