i used to regularly read along and participate in the ivf threads, but haven't been on much since my son was born last year. Now I'm reaching out because I'm lost and need advice/support.
I apologize for the way this will read, I'm just going to write as thing occur to me, so it may be disjointed.
My DP and I have been living together for 9 years now. Our we are owner builders with a partially completed home. The land is in both our names, and it's a joint mortgage but offset from his account. Otherwise our finances are completely separate. We have enough in the mortgage account put a roof on, which is supposed to be happening this week.
We have a 17 month old DS together, and he has 2 teenage daughters. I'm close with them, and they adore their brother. He and his ex wife only recently signed their final divorce papers.
DP had no will. He has life insurance and super, the girls are beneficiaries of one and I am for the other, but I can't remember which goes to whom. This morning his ex asked if had a will, and warned me that she didn't think it would go as smoothly as I thought it would. This has made me quite paranoid/worried as, although we have come together well during his death, there was quite a difficult history between them. I don't think it will be smooth or easy, by the way. But Ii had hoped settling his estate wouldn't be made more difficult than necessary.
We're off to the funeral home in Alice this morning, to start the ball rolling on getting his body released and ready for transport to Darwin. I'm not doing as well as I thought I would be today, so I'll leave this for now and come back later. Please comment with any advice, or ideas. I'm completely lost.
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03-11-2014 09:12 #1
Advice needed, completely lost. My DP has passed
03-11-2014 09:17 #2
Hugs. I don't have any advice but I wanted to send you lots of love and support. I am sorry sorry for your loss.
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03-11-2014 09:21 #3
No advice, but just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss
I live in Darwin so if there is anything you ever need please pm me xox
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03-11-2014 09:26 #4
I am SO sorry for your loss and can't even begin to comprehend what you must be going through.
This website is a useful starting point, although it doesn't delve in to the "rules" as such, they are contained within the Administration and Probate Act (link at the bottom of the page).
It is best to speak to a lawyer specialising in this field or legal aid, as it probably won't be a straight forward matter to deal with. But I wish you all the best and hope that everyone is taken care of appropriately x
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03-11-2014 09:26 #5
I'm so sorry for your loss. It may be worth looking into contacting a lawyer in the future if things do become rocky.
Please take care of yourself. x
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03-11-2014 09:28 #6-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Oh Hun, I am so sorry for your loss. Totally gutted for you
Take things one step at a time.
Gather all the paperwork you can regarding your hubby's life insurance/super etc. Then when you are ready have a look at them. Perhaps the papers will specify where the money is allocated. If not there will be customer support numbers you can call to get the answers. The staff will be trained to be compassionate with people who are grieving.
Under the life insurance or super ask the staff if there is an ability for emergency release if funds to pay for a funeral.
If things start getting a bit narky regarding who gets what you do not need to deal with that. Is there a trusted friend or relative of your hubby? Someone respected by all parties? That could act like an unofficial executor of tour hubby's things/could help mediate any questions? If so deflect all questions to them in the early days. You should be focusing on yourself and your bubba.
So sorry for you. Please vent here if needed xxx
03-11-2014 09:47 #7
I'm so sorry for your loss...such a horrible time and then you have the ex-wife to deal with too.
If your husband passed away without a will, then there is normally a set way that his estate assets will be disbursed. If varies state to state.
Assets like his super and any life insurance, depend on whether he put a beneficiary nomination on the policies, and hopefully they are binding nominations. If he has made a beneficiary nomination on these policies then they should not form part of his estate assets and will go to the person he has nominated on the policies. If there is no nomination then they form part of his estate assets.
With property it depends in whether it is joint tenants or tenants in common. If your property is joint tenants, then upon your husband passing away his ownership passes on to you, but with tenants in common, his share of property will form part of his estate assets.
Last edited by Night Owl; 03-11-2014 at 09:51.
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03-11-2014 09:52 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
So sorry for your devastating lost. I can't imagine the heartbreak you must be feeling then this added worry to deal with is just awful.
Don't quote me on this as I am not a lawyer or anything like that as I understand it if his will is not up to date and doesn't have you listed as a beneficiary then you can challenge it via the courts. If the will doesn't exist then the courts will decide who gets the money.
I know it will be impossibly hard but you need to get a lawyer involved sooner rather than later.
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03-11-2014 10:34 #9
No advice I just wanted to say how very sorry I am for your loss. Xxx
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03-11-2014 10:38 #10
I am so sorry for you loss
If he has passed away without a will, then his children will be his beneficiaries - there is a set way his estate will be disbursed which will usually be administered by the public trustee from your state.
(my ex-bil passed away last year without a will ... my nephews were his only children even though my sister and him had been seperated for many years which did make it simpler - and they were older than 18 so could apply to be the administrators of the estate themselves).
Anyway - it does get complicated - especially when there is more than one family involved.
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