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  1. #11
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    If they accept the food and bin it, that's the real offence. I'd much rather my child politely refuse food then waste it!!!

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  3. #12
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    I will often turn down food. I think it's ok to refuse politely. When I do home visits I get offered all sorts of food and beverages from people. I will always refuse. Usually it's sweets and sometimes foods like soup etc. I don't want them so I politely say thank you, but I'm fine. I will often say I've just had breakfast/lunch/morning tea etc. it's not because I don't trust the person or their cooking etc, I just don't want the food. I once had an Indian sweet basically forced into my hand so I had to eat it. While it was nice it was so sweet and I had already drunk all my water so I had to stop and buy more water because it made me so thirsty.

    In saying that it's slightly different to VPs situation where it was Halloween trick or treaters and a wrapped chocolate. What kid doesn't like freddos? And what kid trick or treating refuses the lollies/chocolate? Isn't that the whole point of trick or treating?

  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by theoneandonlyem View Post
    In saying that it's slightly different to VPs situation where it was Halloween trick or treaters and a wrapped chocolate. What kid doesn't like freddos? And what kid trick or treating refuses the lollies/chocolate? Isn't that the whole point of trick or treating?
    My dd. She hate chocolate. She loves lots of lollies but she can't stand chocolate of any kind.

    Also people who allergic to dairy.

  5. #14
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    Ok, now I've seen the actual thread. That kid wasn't rude. He politely declined. He didn't tell her to give him something else.mits better for him to do that than waste it.

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  7. #15
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    Eek! I was in this position last night. One of my friends had been given an item of clothing from another person who also happened to be present in the room! She offered me the item of clothing as it didn't fit her. I saw this item of clothing and there was no way I was wearing it so I asked what size and then realised it was 1/2 a size too big and politely declined due to size. The other girls in the room all insisted it was a tight fit and it should be right so I had to reiterate "No, it really won't fit, but thank you." How does one say "I find that piece of clothing is not really my style" without offending someone?

  8. #16
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    I can't remember where I saw it - I'm hoping it was Dr Phil cause VicPark loves him! But it was that we need to let our kids say no sometimes - by forcing them to always say yes and never refuse anything or never say how they really feel is not only bad for their self esteem and self confidence but they need to know how to say no to also protect themselves - adults are not always right and or trustworthy

    A polite no thank you from a child I think is wonderful - I hope DS has the confidence and politeness to do this, I'm not saying in all occasions they should be arrogant little turds but to politely turn down a chocolate so someone else can get it I think is great

    I say no to food quite often as I don't eat red meat or chicken and DS does not like potato of any kind so often says no to hot chips or mashed potato which I think is fine and we just had to have the talk about being thankful for any present he gets as we just had his party and he got a few toys he already had

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  10. #17
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    Absolutely, you can turn something down politely. I think it's extremely rude to expect that someone will take something you give them, simply because YOU want to give it to them.

    In some cases, like with a gift, it's easier to accept graciously and deal with it later as you avoid hurting their feelings. I think it'd be fair enough to refuse a gift, though I wouldn't have the guts to do it myself. The whole practice of required/expected gift-giving bugs me no end!

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  12. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by anewme View Post
    See I think it polite to say so when can't or won't eat a treat as long as you do so nicely.

    I also believe you don't have to take a gift just because it offered to you.

    I don't think it's rude to decline if you say it in a nice way.

    I would hate my child to feel they had to have something just because someone offered it to them.
    There's a difference between
    1) turning down a treat and
    2) going door knocking for treats then turning down what's offered.

    I stand by my comments in the original Halloween thread. I will rephrase for this thread though: the kid seemed spoilt, like he had an air of entitlement about him that he could only have learned from parents that pander to him.

  13. #19
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    I think it's better to politely refuse something than take it and throw it away, that is just wasteful, I also think people can be as offended as they like, it doesn't make the person refusing rude if they did so in a polite manner. It's like if someone was offering you a bag of nuts and you were allergic would you still be expected to take those nuts graciously then bin them? Not saying the boy was allergic but if you apply a blanket logic like it's rude to turn down a gift then it would surely apply in those situations as well

  14. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Ted View Post
    Eek! I was in this position last night. One of my friends had been given an item of clothing from another person who also happened to be present in the room! She offered me the item of clothing as it didn't fit her. I saw this item of clothing and there was no way I was wearing it so I asked what size and then realised it was 1/2 a size too big and politely declined due to size. The other girls in the room all insisted it was a tight fit and it should be right so I had to reiterate "No, it really won't fit, but thank you." How does one say "I find that piece of clothing is not really my style" without offending someone?
    I would lie and say I have enough clothes thanks.

    You see if it's something permanent like that which wasn't bought specifically for you I don't think it's rude to decline. If it's a bit if broccoli served up for dinner that will take 5 seconds to eat then unless you have medical issues u think that would be rude to decline.

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