Okay so my due date is in 2 weeks time, but i guess I could go at any point now as I am 38 weeks and the Inlaws are meant to be looking after DS when i go into labor of which they are looking very forward to.
My issue is their dog. They have a terrible track record with dogs - their previous one was extremely dangerous and attacked several family members, the worse attack being on SIL when it jumped up and nearly tore her nose off! She had to have several surgeries. They refused to do anything about the dog (re-home, training, put down) life went on as normal for them and DH and I found it absolutely appalling.
I hate to sound horrible, but that dog has thankfully now passed away (from an illness) so our DS is safe from it.
But they have another dog, that is also not rained but hey think this dog is ok because its a female staffy x. But at the same time they are now also recognizing this dog may be a risk if left unsupervised with our DS. So they have agreed to keeping it as separated from our son as possible. My DH has been coming home and convincing me that the dog is a new dog since the other dog passed away, its more confident and happy. And i believed him.
I went to their house for the first time in months over the weekend and all i can say is I saw a different dog to what i was told about. Yes she is more 'confident' but she thinks she owns the place now! Just like their other did did. If you open the door to go outside the dog absolutely forces it's way in! I couldn't believe it... and when it gets in MIL timidly hurries it back outside but there is no assertiveness at all! I can tell by its body language that it doesn't like DS at all ... thankfully he didn't seem interested in going near it. But even while he leaves it completely alone, the dog looks grumpy. They have another smaller dog that went up to the staffy x to have a play and it snapped and bit it, causing the smaller dog to yelp.... that showed me that the dog isn't this sweet warm playful dog at all.... MIL looked awkward when that happened, and of course didn't tell the staffy x off at all for biting the other dog.
I am feeling so anxious. DH refuses to talk to me about it as he feels I am being hormonal and paranoid, but i am really uneasy about my son being at their house while DH or I aren't there because i just do not trust MIL to keep the dog in its place.
Do i sound like I am being paranoid and i should try to trust them more? We have told them time and time again to be assertive and a leader with the dog, but they refuse.
She also told me the dogs sleep inside the house but she promises when DS is there they dogs will be outside. I told her the dogs will connect their sudden banishment to outside with DS and it will grow resentment. But she laughed it off as if what I am saying is nonsense. Like she always does.
I just don't know what to do. They are looking so forward to having DS ... DH really wants them to have him as well because they are looking so forward to it.... but it seems I am the only one here focusing purely on DS's safety.
Should I chill and trust them?
For the record i do not feel the dog will attack unprovoked. But if provoked, I absolutely do feel this dog is a risk and with a 2.5 year old boy, is this too risky? I can sense i wont have much tolerance either.
DH attitude is if it bites our son he'll make sure the dog is put to sleep ... but that doesn't resolve anything to me as if my son is attacked then its too late!
My son can be (like every toddler) a bit loud and boisterous with dogs when he plays with them. I trust our dog with him though as i know how to train dogs, but my inlaws just let the dogs rule the roost!
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28-10-2014 14:14 #1
Ready to pop and again having second thouyghts about Inlaws and their dog!!
Last edited by Serenity Love; 28-10-2014 at 14:31.
28-10-2014 14:25 #2
I don't think you are just being hormonal. You have a right to be concerned.
Is it possible for them to baby sit him at you're home? That would be the only way I would be letting them babysit.
28-10-2014 14:27 #3
I never trust any dog with my children. So my children have always been told that dogs are just for looking at, never touching. So, obviously, my view point clouds my judgement...
But, do not allow your child around that dog. Insist that your inlaws come to your house to mind your ds. That is the only way you can be sure he's safe from that dog. If that doesn't work for them, them fine, contact a baby sitting / nanny service and hire someone to mind your child.
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28-10-2014 14:27 #4
I wouldn't be letting them have my son unsupervised. No chance! Is there another option for care while you deliver?
28-10-2014 14:30 #5
Can they stay at your house when they have DS?
28-10-2014 14:34 #6
They don't want to babysit at our house as they have just moved into a new house 50 mins away and they claim they would feel more comfortable watching him in their own home. That's what DH has told me anyways. They also refuse to drive down to collect DS for us when i go into labor, DH will have to leave me and drive DS to their house then come back. He is so anxious he is going to miss the birth completely.
I hate this, I just feel like everyone is just pushing me aside like how i feel is just nonsense because I am pregnant. I can see tonight when i try to bring it up to DH a massive argument is going to unfold as he will no doubt roll his eyes and try to tell me I am being silly and its going to peeve me right off. He wants to keep them happy.
28-10-2014 14:37 #7
I have my mum coming to our house as it's about my little guys comfort rather than their comfort. It's also where we are bringing new bub home to so makes sense to be at our house.
I would want them to look after him at your house if I was you. That way your mind will be at ease.
28-10-2014 14:38 #8
I would be terrified for my child. I would be trying to find alternative arrangements .
28-10-2014 14:43 #9
so from what i have told you all about the dog, it sounds like a risk? **** i really thought i may have been overreacting but since seeing the dog my gut instinct is going crazy.
This is not going to end well. They refuse to watch DS at our house (they love to call the shots) so i can see me having to be the b!tch as I always am (in their eyes) and putting my foot down. Again.
DH is against the idea of me hiring a babysitter as he feels that could also put our son at risk at he rather trust his parents over a random.
I just don't know what to do.
28-10-2014 14:43 #10
Firstly, no def not being paranoid. Based on what you've said there's no way in hell id leave my son there under those circumstances. I love dogs, but they aren't boss. IMO a lot of times things can go wrong when they left to believe they're in charge.
Secondly, first and foremost your hubby should be worried about wanting to keep YOU happy first and foremost. It's not about them right now. Focus should be on you. They sound a bit selfish honestly.
If I were in your shoes id be having a very very firm chat with hubby.
Trust your instincts. They're there for a reason. 💛
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