In your situation I would be very hurt and upset and I would call him on it.
In my situation - wouldn't care cause I don't want to spend xmas with my dad anyway!
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25-10-2014 18:16 #11
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25-10-2014 18:21 #12
Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your feedback.
I'm very hurt by it (the little girl in me wants to cry but I'm heartbroken for my babies) but I'm worried I will be told I am childish and selfish if I voice it to dad. Mum gets it and understands, she's not happy about missing the day with her grandchildren.
What should I say when he tells me he has changed his plans?
25-10-2014 18:25 #13
Can you organise to do lunch with him and he can do dinner with the uncle?
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25-10-2014 18:26 #14
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25-10-2014 18:28 #15
I would be straight with him and so should your mother.
25-10-2014 18:33 #16
I'm fairly certain my dad would have planned picking up his friend at around 10-11am and having a drinking session all day. I don't think dad will want to do lunch with us then dinner with his friend but I can bring up that option I suppose.
Im also pretty certain my dad will get cranky at me questioning his decision and will just state that his friend is getting old etc and play a guilt trip on me.
I kind of want to ask my mum if she will come to our place and have lunch with us but I think she'll say no as my dad will expect her to cook and drive his friend home. I also don't want her to be put in an awkward situation where she'd have to chose me or my dad. I would want to ask my brother if he wants to have lunch at ours but I also don't want him to have to choose.
25-10-2014 18:36 #17
25-10-2014 18:41 #18
He can't put a guilt trip on you. He is the one in the wrong.
Don't let him put it on you. Tell him you are hus child your children are his grandchildren and you should come first.
Put it back on him.
Are you having a family day or not. If not than you will invite the family over to your place. Christmas is about family.
25-10-2014 18:57 #19
What about a breakfast? We did breakfast with one side of the family and dinner with the other when I was a kid.
25-10-2014 20:44 #20
TBH I would be annoyed at both parents. I would expect my mum to tell my dad how important it is to spend Christmas with the family and tell him to pull his head in. If this 'uncle' is all alone then of course he could be invited to join ALL of you, with a clear understanding that he is expected to be polite.
Failing that, I would point out to my dad that he needn't think he'll be invited to Christmas with me again, when dear old uncle passes away he will find himself alone.
Not mature I know, but I would be having a tanty!
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