So my DH is one of those 'what have you done all day?" kind of men who thinks I'm having a lovely holiday "not going to work" looking after our almost 1 yr old, keeping house, doing the accounts for his business and generally acting like his PA.
He does ZERO chores around the house and "plays" with DD for approx 30-60 mins/day when it suits him (he doesn't feed her, bath her, read to her, put her to bed, resettle overnight-- nothing).
My mum thinks I should "take a day off"
one Saturday and leave him with DD for the day (bf her before I leave and in the evening when I get back- means she will miss a bf or two) so he can see how hard it actually is and what is actually done in a day.
DD cannot be consoled by him, so I'm quite reluctant to give her a sh*tty day to teach him a lesson but am so sick of his attitude I'm tempted....
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24-10-2014 20:37 #1
24-10-2014 20:42 #2
Can you start with half a day? Even a few hours might be enough to make him think oh 5hi7?
Or, take a week off everything but DD. Only wash yours and DD's clothes. Clean up after yourself only. Leave all his crap laying around and dont lift a single finger for him and certainly dont cook for him. See how much he thinks you do then.
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24-10-2014 20:44 #3Junior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2014
I would certainly take off for the day He's gotta learn lol.
Or you can do what I did many many years ago.... Not do a damn thing for a full week! Haha it sorted the problem out straight up and that was 6years ago, he now understands exactly what I do
24-10-2014 20:48 #4
I would definitely give then both some time together.
It would be so beneficial for your daughter too, to spend some one on one time with her dad.
He better not park her in front of the TV or IPad.
Start by going out for the afternoon? Might be easier on everyone
24-10-2014 20:51 #5
By just giving them an afternoon or a few hours he can quite easily think it's all play, all fun and games.
I wish I could just manage it that he has to have her and clean the house and do the laundry and do the accounts and cook the dinner.
24-10-2014 20:56 #6
TBH I think when one is working full time, 1 full day on home and kids duties doesn't seem so bad.
It's the repetition that's hard! So for him to get it, he would probably need to be a SAHD for a week...
24-10-2014 20:59 #7
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24-10-2014 21:47 #8
My DH had generally been pretty good with this, but has taken everything I do for granted a few times. So now he has DS on his own for one full day a week while I go to work. At first he was all like 'oh its great staying home, I get to play with DS and relax and have a nap when he does', meanwhile the house was a pigsty and no dinner was cooked! So now I make sure that I text all throughout the day with 'reminders' of everything that needs to be done - washing, vacuuming, cooking dinner, running errands, swimming lessons, etc. He now looks just as exhausted at the end of his 'day off' as I look at the end of all of my 'days off'.
So, if you're going to leave DD with your DH for the day, make sure you also leave him a list of everything you'd normally have to do as well... And if he hasn't done it all, ask him what he's been doing all day and why dinner isn't on the table... See how he likes it!
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24-10-2014 22:10 #9
I would ease him in. I suspect the reason he has trouble is bc he never settles or does the hard work with her. DH settled our kids no worries, I never had a single issue with leaving him with the kids.
Have him settle her while you are there. Have him bath her. Then when things between them are ok, have your day.
And I have to say, if he was my DH he'd get a mouthful saying I do nothing all day meanwhile not helping with our children at all. I couldn't be with someone that had such a low opinion of my role.
25-10-2014 01:53 #10
You should participate in the Tough Mother project http://www.toughmother.net.au
Take 48 hour off. Go away for the weekend. Leave him with a list of your usual tasks and activities to do with your child. He'll definitely have more of an appreciation for what you do afterwards!
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