Just so you know, I'm not being judgemental. I have a genuine concern for the way my children will perceive beauty and want lengths they may go to in order to feel beautiful. I am trying to understand so that when my daughter's are old enough and do notice I can talk to them honestly about the reasons why people choose to have breast implants.
Hulahoop - you're right, I can't 'pick out' the reason for all the women who I don't know (and yes, it's at the beach that I notice it the most. I live within 10 minutes of the beach and we're there every single week) but I do know several women with boob jobs and the reasons behind it for these women are cosmetic.
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22-10-2014 19:41 #51Senior Member
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- May 2014
22-10-2014 19:44 #52
All I know is this thread has made me determined to get mine done in the next year or so.
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22-10-2014 19:46 #53
But I also think it's a valid discussion about where these feelings stem from and what it means for our kids.
I guess this topic has been on my mind lately as my DD who I've put a great deal of work into teaching about inner beauty, self acceptance, said to me that I need to apply that to myself and that effectively I have low self esteem about myself physically (which is true). It got the cogs turning about the subliminal messages that I am sending her that she is obviously getting.
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22-10-2014 19:53 #54
Where does the line cross that 'cosmetic' ie no medical or necessary reason, cross into a person's mental happiness? That's really hard to measure. If I was flat chested and spent my life since puberty trying to enhance the size of my chest to the point of obsession, stayed home instead of going to the beach, endured jokes etc - isn't that a good enough reason to look the way you would feel happier? For some I'm sure it's very extreme. I'd rather my daughter, through careful consideration and research, was happy with her chest rather than having the issue rule her world.
My sister had the opposite - she had MASSIVE b00bs. She always dresses beautifully and is a stunning lady - but people would make comment and guys in particular would look at her b00bs while talking to her. I've seen it for years. She had a reduction and hasn't looked back. She now exercises (which was near impossible) and wears clothes that fit and although I wouldn't say she's necessarily happier (she's a 99 percenter anyway) she doesn't have the worry of the b00bs ruling her life.
22-10-2014 19:53 #55
I have 'fake boobs'. You would never guess though as I went from AAA (flat with nothing at all) to a B.
I waited until I was about 26 before I got them. I got them as I wanted to feel feminine, and to be able to wear nice dresses and tops without stressing about how flat it made me look. I had my sister comment how she would never get them and how she would love to be flat chested. ..but she has boobs, and she has never experienced what it's like to be a grown woman and have nothing there.
I have no regrets...I love them and forget they are breast implants. I like how I look in clothes now. Best $11k I ever spent.
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22-10-2014 19:53 #56
22-10-2014 20:04 #57
An example - as I said, I hate my boobs. Why do I though? Women in Africa have saggy breasts and no one bats an eye. I argue the reason I hate my boobs is bc there are such strong messages that perfect boobs equal perfect C/D cup that are perennially perky. I want those boobs, not mine bc every day we are saturated with what beautiful is.
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22-10-2014 20:06 #58
It is a minefield though. I started going grey at 22/23. At 44 my hair colour now would be a very dull brown with about 30-40% grey. Old women have grey hair, I'm not an only woman. I'm the same person I was at 22/23 (only with a shed-load more maturity and life experience) - I don't feel any different. I also have my eye brows and upper lip waxed. Between hair dye and an eyebrow wax I probably lose about 10 years and I'm vain enough that I would like to look as young as I reasonably can.
DS asked me what I was doing one day when he caught me putting mascara on. I had no idea what to say.
I am trying to encourage DD to define "beautiful" as a person who is brave, clever and most of all, kind. I had a mini heart attack when she told me that "DS is clever, but I'm pretty".
22-10-2014 20:32 #59
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Last edited by Sethysmum; 22-10-2014 at 20:44.
22-10-2014 23:12 #60
I haven't read through all of the replies but I just want to say that I think that breasts are so "front and centre" that we can dress around and disguise a lot of body issues but that one is hard to hide. Should we all just learn to love ourselves? Probably. But that is easier said then done when there is so much negative feedback about bodies it really can undermine your best efforts to love yourself.
Also, when we look at strangers on the beach, just seeing fake boobs on the beach doesn't tell the full story. I know someone with "I survived breast cancer so I got these great new boobs" breasts, I also know someone who wants to get implants because she had a double mastectomy due to the breast cancer gene and due to complications was not able to have the reconstruction so she now lives with no breasts. I can't imagine what that would do to a young woman.
I think I used to be scornful of women when I saw them with falsies, but who are we to judge? I colour my hair, diet and wear makeup. You could say any of those things have the same effect as fake boobs on teaching our children about the natural process of ageing and body image.
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