A lot of my regrets are about things I've done to affect others, rather than things directly impacting my life if that makes sense. Most of my own personal regrets I've at least learnt from so I can't begrudge those experiences too much .
One in particular was a boyfriend I had in my very early 20's. He was in his 30's and I very naively got involved in a relationship with him knowing full well he had strong feelings for me and wanted a serious commitment, while I did not see a future for us. Six months (yes, six) down the track and I decided I just couldn't do it anymore, so I went to his apartment while he was at work, grabbed my stuff and left his things such as toothbrush etc, and wrote a note saying sorry I didn't love him and not to call me anymore. Well of course he did call me repeatedly and when that didn't work he started coming over to my place and demanding to know what happened?! So stupid 21 year old me then started using my housemate as a buffer, telling him fibs about my whereabouts, and just generally behaving poorly without giving him the courtesy of a face to face discussion to explain my feelings. I eventually faced him about three weeks later, unbelievably he still wanted to give the relationship another chance but I stood firm and then had to admit I didn't love him and never did. He was gutted and was crying, all I could do was sit there and dumbly hold his hand and say "sorry" repeatedly.
A shameful chapter in my life and something I haven't actually told anyone before. I still feel incredibly guilty and ashamed about my immature and thoughtless behaviour that hurt someone so much. :-(
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19-10-2014 20:12 #41
19-10-2014 20:20 #42
I would of stood up for myself, believed in myself and had confidence. Something I only really started having in the last few years.
Would of been handy 10 years ago.
But, better late than never I guess.
19-10-2014 20:26 #43
Oh wow these answers have been fascinating. Thank you so much for sharing. I've read a lot of these and thought 'oh, yep, me too'. I totally agree about learning from experience, and I guess that's why I try not to regret anything because every decision I have ever made has led me right here, but, then again, every decision I've ever made has led me right here :-/
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19-10-2014 20:29 #44Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
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19-10-2014 21:47 #45
19-10-2014 22:02 #46
I would have believed the Drs/my dad when they told me at 12 my mum was dying. It only really dawned on me and started to sink in the night before it happened. By then it was too late to see her again... I remember lying in bed and listening to the rain at midnight and seriously considering running to the hospice. Kind of wish I had.
19-10-2014 22:18 #47
Have those of you who smoke seen this website:
I'm too cheap to smoke (plus lost too many relatives to cancer) but this is a new one that really grabbed me as possibly being effective. Be interested to know if anyone on here thought it was.
19-10-2014 22:21 #48
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19-10-2014 22:46 #49
Another regret I have.... I try to push it to the back of my mind but a pp has brought it to front.... I havent really told anyone as im so ashamed.
I wish I had of appreciated my nan (who was the woman I considered my mum) more. She passed away from cancer when I was 13. When she got sick, I blamed her. One day she was having a really bad day, she couldnt even lift a glass of water to her mouth. I wanted a friend over, I wanted to be a normal kid. And of course that wasnt possible. So I screamed at her that I hated her, and I wish she would hurry up and die because life would be better for all of us. I never got the chance to say sorry. Within a few days she was put into palliative care and was so doped up on painkillers and meds that she had no idea who or where she was. I couldn't stand to see her a complete shell of the bright, bubbly, happy woman I loved, I didnt want to remember her at the end being so skinny and having tubes everywhere. So I rarely went in to see her. But my god I wish I did. I wish I spent as much time as possible with her. I wish I thanked her for all she gave up- she gave up her career, her retirement and her life to raise me. But most of all I wish I told her I was sorry, and that I loved her more than anything.
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19-10-2014 22:51 #50
My first boyfriend. Best scenario would be not to have been in a relationship with him at all. Next best - to not have an ongoing on again, off again,
excruciatingly painful relationship with him over the next 3 years after the initial breakup. Not being with him would have also almost certainly meant that I wouldn't have had a rebound relationship with an a$$hoke I didn't love.
It was a horrible mess. Took me 10 years to truly put it all behind me.
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