I've recently started a relationship with a fifo guy and it's all going really well. He's on a 2/1 swing so that's pretty good. Just wondering though if fly out day ever gets any easier?
I find the day he leaves and the next day or two really hard. Then probably the last three days before he flies back in really seem to drag too. I try keep myself busy while he's away.
I'll admit I thought it wouldn't be this hard because I'm quite an independent person and enjoy my space but it's proving to be harder than I thought!
I do love the excitement waiting for him to walk through those airport doors but watching him get into the taxi on fly out day (leaves at like 3:30am so I can't even drop him off) breaks my heart.
Will it get easier as time goes on?
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18-10-2014 16:35 #1
Does it get easier?
18-10-2014 17:03 #2
Yes and no..... dh has been fifo for over a year now and I still cry on fly out day. Probably more so because we never know how long he will be gone for- could be 2 weeks, could be 5/6 weeks like his last shift. He is supposed to be on a 2/1 roster but he is rarely home for more than 4 days and usually gone 3-4 weeks. And it sucks we dont know until he arrives at work- and often we dont know until a few days before he is meant to fly home on his normal days off.
I think you just learn to deal with it differently, it doesnt necessarily get easier. As much as it sucks, it does help keep that romance alive I think. Fly in day, I get dressed up (make up, hair, nice clothes), and meet him at the gate. Its great having those butterflies in my tummy watching his plane land. We talk a lot on the phone, whether its phone calls or texts, most days and its helped us improve our communication skills so now if issues arise we are able to work through them. We also appreciate the time we do have together a lot more.
As I said, I dont think it gets easier, you just find different ways to deal with it. And some times are worse than others.
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18-10-2014 22:37 #3
Thanks for the reply I get what you mean I guess. We talk every spare minute he has most days which is nice. I've had major communication issues in my past relationships so its a nice change being able to talk so openly.
I think I might have to plan something for after he flies out. Distraction. Coffee with friends or the gym or something so I don't just come home and mope lol.
18-10-2014 23:02 #4
Distraction is good!
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18-10-2014 23:17 #5
My hubby has been doing FIFO for about 6 years now. For me, fly out day has gotten easier. It's just the way our life is now, so I don't get upset or cry. Yes I am sad to see him go and I miss him so much while he's away, but the build up to him coming home is always exciting and I love it when he walks back through the door.
We talk as much as we can while he's away, but it's hard as he is on permanent night shifts, so can't always talk for long at times that suit us both.
18-10-2014 23:25 #6
Oh luckily I've only dealt with one week of night shift. I hated it. He wants to do it permanently. He was going to bed as I was getting up and it was just crap lol.
It's only been almost 5mnths (seems like so much longer than that.. Weird) so still pretty new for me. He's been doing it for years so is a little more used to it than I am.
We obviously don't live together yet so when he is home we spend most of the time at his place. He leaves for the airport at stupid o'clock (like 3-4am) so I get up and have a cuppa with him and just cuddle while we wait for the taxi. Then I have to go back into his bed alone until it's time to get up and take the kids to school. Waking up without him there is hard. Packing up our stuff to go back home sucks too.
Last edited by Mod-Myztik; 18-10-2014 at 23:27.
19-10-2014 06:07 #7
Dh has been away since may. I've finally gotten used to it....
It's just time that helps.
wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
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19-10-2014 07:05 #8
Mines been doing nights for awhile now so getting used to not having as long to talk. He calls when he gets up but it's usually cactus hour here and I'm trying to get dinner sorted etc so sometimes it's a bit crazy.
It's all definitely a huge adjustment, but you do get used to it. Helps to have other people in similar circumstances to chat with. If you are on fb I can recommend a few groups to join too.
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19-10-2014 11:18 #9
I'm lucky in that sense where it doesn't affect my boys as they've only known him a little while and know that's how his work is etc and they get excited counting down to him flying in because they enjoy staying at his place. That may change down the track if we end up living together though I guess.
Duty calls. Will come back and finish reply.
19-10-2014 11:42 #10
My DP has been away this year from Feb-May, June-August, and is about to leave on Monday for two weeks, then leaves again in Nov-May. We also have limited communication during this time, only emails so we cant see eachother or hear each others voice.
I find having a goal keeps me occupied, like exercise everyday in the sun! Redo a room in the house etc. I always make sure I keep in touch with friends to. I have had my down days where I have layed on the couch and felt sorry for myself all day but im getting better at dealing with it now. Its hard because I have no family or close friends close. I have also done things like sewing classes and now im doing a pole dancing term to make friends and have some fun
I think the main thing that gets me through is thinking about all the goals we have and how doing it tough gets us closer to not having to do it tough..if that makes sense.
I hope it gets easier for you, hugs
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