You don't think it'll be that hard but then you walk into their robe and are surrounded by them, their smell, their style and you just cry
+ Reply to Thread
Results 11 to 20 of 20
16-10-2014 12:42 #11
16-10-2014 12:56 #12
If my child disappeared, I'd keep their room like a shrine. I'd never move house, never change anything, I'd live in hope that one day they'd return. I'd never give up.
If someone died, I'd eventually be able to pack up and sort through their things. I don't know how long that grief process would take though.
16-10-2014 13:02 #13
If it were my child I don't think I could bring myself to pack away their things, at least not for a very long time....it would be even more difficult in the scenario that they were missing, as you would always hold on to the hope they would be found.
When my cousin passed away, her parents left her room untouched for a few years. I completely understand why too. Losing a child would be the hardest thing in the world.
16-10-2014 13:21 #14
Slightly different senerario- I work in a nursing home and have witnessed some truly disgusting behaviour.
We always ask family to pack their things (it needs to be done ASAP as they will continue to be charged whilst the room still has their belongings) but sometimes they ask us to and that's ok. There is only little knick knacks and small furniture anyway.
Other times family members we have never seen before rock in trying to get in first just as soon as the resident has passed and help themselves to the "good" stuff, eg jewellery and vases. We try and document what they are taking and the whole thing is really awkward. We have to let the family sort it out amongst themselves.
Twice I've seen family members come and start taking stuff whilst the body is still there!!! Disgusting.
As for me, I honestly wouldn't know what I would do until I was placed in that situation.
Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 16-10-2014 at 15:34.
16-10-2014 13:27 #15
Mum died when I was 14 and sister was 16. She died in June.
We left her belongings where they were for probably 7-8 months. After we'd been away over Xmas.
One day without saying anything Dad Started taking her things out of cupboards. My sister and I just gravitated to where Dad was, and the three of us did it together. Talking about certain items, laughing at others, putting some things aside to keep.
It was really lovely but I think that's because it happened organically without planning. Dad was ready and we were too.
16-10-2014 15:32 #16
When my mum passed away I didn't touch a single thing that belonged to her. I'm not sure if it was because I was lazy or if I really just couldn't deal with it (I was only 16).
However on the other hand, my 3 older sisters had no problem rummaging through her drawers and her personal things (a few days later) to take whatever they felt they wanted.
I still only have about 10 or so little things that were hers because I was left with whatever my sisters didn't want.
I suppose looking back, I wish I had've gone into her room sooner but at the same time I never really needed expensive jewellry to remind me of her.
16-10-2014 18:25 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
Our five and a half year old daughter passed away from an asthma attack in May 2012. It will be two and a half years on 12th November, and we haven't packed away one single thing. Her school bag is still in the laundry, like it was every night after school, and her bedroom is as she left it. I haven't washed her sheets or changed anything. Her clothes still hang in her wardrobe and in her drawers. In actual fact, we have added some beautiful things to her room that people have given us on her birthdays and anniversaries, and if I see something that I know she'd like, I buy it and put it in her room.
Sian's room will ALWAYS be, Sian's room. It is not a shrine - the door is always open and her little brother plays in their every day, and if her friends are over, they are also welcome to play with her things. We aren't in denial - we know she's never ever coming back, but we see no reason to pack her things away. It brings me comfort to be able to go into her room and talk to her and spend time surrounded by all her things. We are never moving from our home (Sian's ashes are in an urn in a special garden that we look out on from our family room), so her room will stay her room until the day I join her in heaven. Then I won't mind what people do with it, because I'll be with my little girl again and that will be all that matters.
The Following 27 Users Say Thank You to siansmum For This Useful Post:
2BlueBirds (16-10-2014),babylove81 (16-10-2014),Cue (16-10-2014),Funnels (16-10-2014),GingerKat (16-10-2014),Jodes35 (16-10-2014),LaDiDah (16-10-2014),Lillac (25-01-2015),Little Miss Sunshine (16-10-2014),littlelove (16-10-2014),Mellie29 (26-10-2014),Mopoke (16-10-2014),My Beloved Ones (16-10-2014),Night Owl (16-10-2014),ozeymumof5 (17-10-2014),preggasaurus (16-10-2014),Purple Lily (26-10-2014),Purple Poppy (16-10-2014),Ra Ra Superstar (16-10-2014),RuffledPansy (17-10-2014),Seoul (16-10-2014),SheWarrior (16-10-2014),sky1 (16-10-2014),Sonja (26-10-2014),tazz475 (16-10-2014),VicPark (16-10-2014),~Marigold~ (16-10-2014)
16-10-2014 18:29 #18
My mum passed away 11 years ago and her dressing gown still hangs in the bathroom. I doubt my dad will ever move it. Its nice going in there and still seeing a piece of her.
We packed up her clothes a few months after she passed but dad did keep a few favourite things and her wedding dress in the cupboard.
The Following User Says Thank You to Lincolns mummy For This Useful Post:
16-10-2014 19:25 #19
My little sister passed away in May this year. Her bedroom now is exactly as it has always been. Her PJs are under her pillow. Her room still smells like her. We live 400km away from mum and dad, and when we were there in June and July her door was always open (sometimes it is closed if it gets just a little bit much), and my girls can play in there (I supervise), whenever they want.
There is no time frame on when it has to be done and we have said to mum and dad if it never gets touched, than that's okay and it's mum and dad's call as to if and when.
My mum has slept in her bed on the odd occasion and so have I, her doona is amazing, LOL.
Mum has suggested that maybe at Christmas time when we are all together that maybe we can try and go through everything - that will be a call made at the time.
I think it depends on who it was, the grieving process and different circumstances.
*sorry for rambling. x
Last edited by babylove81; 16-10-2014 at 19:42.
The Following User Says Thank You to babylove81 For This Useful Post:
16-10-2014 19:39 #20
The Following User Says Thank You to My Beloved Ones For This Useful Post:
TribalanceTriBalance is a physio, yoga & pilates studio in Brisbane's inner north, offering specialised women's health ...
LATESTWhy it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?7 ways to break the ‘mumnotony’ at home
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Loan for a businessFamily Finances
Do u take it personally? Kids friends..General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
IVF babies due June/July/August 2017pregnancy and babies through IVF
Welcome to the BubHub!Introductions
Lunch box ideas that doesn't include sandwichRecipes & Lunchbox Ideas
ongoing chat threadGeneral Chat
Inheritance WWYDGeneral Chat
Egg Donation in Greece #5Egg Donation