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  1. #51
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    I was in a similar situation last year. Invited to a birthday party for an extended family's child in a park and it was BYO food and drink.

    I didn't go. It was a 2+ hour drive each way for us, and I think its rude to.expect a gift be given to their child, but they couldn't even supply nibbles? It was too one sided for me.

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  3. #52
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    I know the decision is made now but I have to agree with the PP's, you should have just gone, it's your nephews 1st birthday!
    I don't see the problem with the 2 weeks notice either.

    However I do think it's very rude and odd TBH to host a party at *any* time of day and not supply even a few nibblies, let alone across lunchtime! Who does that?

  4. #53
    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    I would go, end of story.

    Honestly you're just making excuses.

    You're adults, it's not hard to mingle for an hour or two (even with awful people), an hour isn't that long a drive in the scheme of things and you can just byo food. Yeah it's rude to not cater but meh. It's not like there's a blanket ban on any food.

    It's for your nephew and you just do it. We often spend our only chance for family time at a birthday party or similar... Part of being in a family imo.

    I would be gutted if my brothers or sil didn't bother coming to celebrate my baby's party.

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  6. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    Meh, I don't think SILs that gracious.

    It was less than 2 weeks notice
    The invites were just dodged up and sent by email
    No food and drink (stingy)
    Decided to hold it in a park that she knew was a lot further away (for all of us) at a time when people usually eat lunch
    invited people she knows we don't like and are horrifying to be seen in public with (loud and rude)

    I think she was relying on our guilt and loyalty in rocking up.

    She didn't make an effort and we wouldn't of had a good time (dd is still too little to fully enjoy parks and tends to get pushed around, plus is a pita when she doesn't nap properly)
    so DH didn't think it impolite to decline like that.

    I'm so glad I don't have to suck it up it was truly going to be awful and take away our whole Saturday together

    Eta: on reflection I probably should of mentioned the lack of notice or proper invite in my original post. Maybe people would of had a different opinion. Or maybe not. It is family and that's what makes it hard.
    Wow. So Sil should organize her party around you and your likes.

    2 weeks is plenty of notice for a family party imo.

    I do think she was relying on your love and loyalty. You showed her alright.

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  8. #55
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    This is one of those threads where I really don't know why it was started given the outcome was a forgone conclusion

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  10. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    This is one of those threads where I really don't know why it was started given the outcome was a forgone conclusion
    I'm pretty sure I know the answer but I think I'd get in trouble for voicing it.

    As for what I'd do, I'd spend my precious Saturday being ashamed of myself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    This is one of those threads where I really don't know why it was started given the outcome was a forgone conclusion
    Huh? The OP was open to views and didn't know her hubby was going to jump the gun with the SIL..

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  13. #58
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    If someone did that to me I would let it slide but inside be seriously hurt. Just because she hasn't called you on your lame excuses doesn't mean she isn't hurt.

    Maybe they can't afford food so didn't bother. Maybe they thought the most important thing was spending time together.

    Is it not family time when you're together at the park??

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  15. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    Meh, I don't think SILs that gracious.

    It was less than 2 weeks notice
    The invites were just dodged up and sent by email
    No food and drink (stingy)
    Decided to hold it in a park that she knew was a lot further away (for all of us) at a time when people usually eat lunch
    invited people she knows we don't like and are horrifying to be seen in public with (loud and rude)

    I think she was relying on our guilt and loyalty in rocking up.

    She didn't make an effort and we wouldn't of had a good time (dd is still too little to fully enjoy parks and tends to get pushed around, plus is a pita when she doesn't nap properly)
    so DH didn't think it impolite to decline like that.

    I'm so glad I don't have to suck it up it was truly going to be awful and take away our whole Saturday together

    Eta: on reflection I probably should of mentioned the lack of notice or proper invite in my original post. Maybe people would of had a different opinion. Or maybe not. It is family and that's what makes it hard.
    You do realise this party isn't about you, right?

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  17. #60
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    I have to say, I don't think you're making matters any better by throwing your own little party. I would be furious if a relative did that to me. It's his first birthday, his parents have every right to hold his party however they please, it's not your place to make up a second one to suit yourself.

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