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  1. #1
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    Default Am I the only hopeless mum?

    I have NO routine

    I struggle daily. We never seem have clean clothes, dinner prepared or a clean house. How do you mums do it. I'm really struggling with the constant screaming Etc

    I can't even find time to sit down do budget or pay bills... Let alone shave my legs. Even though my kids sleep through I find myself in bed then too sometimes I skip dinner because I'm so exhausted. 😳

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    quietlyhopeful  (14-10-2014)

  3. #2
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    I'm wondering the same thing. I do have a sleep routine for DS but that's about it. I find when he's sleeping though it's not like I can get a lot done eg vacuuming or other things as I do try to keep the noise down. The house is rarely clean and I'm lucky if it's reasonably tidy to be honest. I consider it a good day if I get out of Pj's. Dinner is never ready and I find myself dragging from one day to the next. It's a tough gig this. I have no idea how some manage to look good and have social lives!

  4. #3
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    You're not a hopeless Mum. You're a tired Mum and you need to rest when you can.

    Don't be so hard on yourself. Some of us are organised and some aren't, it doesn't make you hopeless.

    You need a wine and a good laugh! x

  5. #4
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    I think the only reason I keep up with it all is because my husband pulls his weight and we share responsibilities and he can appreciate how hard raising kids are. Without him I would be feeling overwhelmed and wouldn't get as much done.
    That being said as long as there is clean clothes for work/kindy/ the kitchen is in order and we have dinner on the table that's all that counts and makes things easier. The extremely tidy house just doesn't exist! Oh and shaving my legs...when I even remember too!

  6. #5
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    No routine? You get a routine.

    And I am speaking as someone who was Queen of Chaos.

    Like you, I was out of control. Overwhelmed.

    My kids picked up on this and things just went from bad to worse. My health suffered, husband left, house looked like those derro houses they show on A Current Affair when they want to bastardise tenants.

    So one night after kids finally fell asleep at, like, 11pm, I sat down and trawled the internet for education and ideas about how to raise kids properly. I picked out a basic menu and feeding times. Basic but tasty recipes.

    I then picked out a basic wardrobe where each day of the week had a set of clothes (shoes, socks, jocks, shorts, tshirt, sun hat) and put them in one place. Then I designated times for washing clothes and other household chores.

    I put my little darlings in child care. They came home with manners. They were responding to structure, routine and the stability these things gave them.

    This is simple but not easy. Two very different things! You do have to work at it but it's a must. After a while I was then able to feed myself, get some sleep and find a life beyond motherhood.

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    I have a cleaning routine, and I also push myself to do things even if I dont feel like it.

    Basic cleaning routine is:

    Monday - wash sheets and doonas
    Tuesday - bathrooms & wash towels
    Wednesday - clean fridge wipe over kitchen
    Thursday - vacuum & mop floors
    Friday - dush and straighten up all rooms.

    Then once a fortnight I do things like wash windows & skirting boards, move furniture to vacuum under etc. I also do a load of washing as soon as I wake up every day and put another on before bed as well, sometimes I have to chuck more on during the day but thats easy to do inbetween things.

    I also meal plan, and have a list of what meals I have the ingredients for on the fridge, and then during the day I pick what we're going to have a take the meat out of the freezer.

    It takes a bit to make things a routine but once they are, its so easy to do. Start small. Make a plan to do 1 load of washing first up every morning. Do that for the first 2 weeks. Then it will feel like just part of your day.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    MissMuppet  (13-10-2014),Mrs Tickle  (13-10-2014),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (13-10-2014)

  9. #7
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    I am dying to get my daughter into childcare I'll have to hassle again this week.

    Ds has morning physio (me not by someone else). I'm going take these ideas thanks girls. I'm drinking about 12 cups coffee a day 😂

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    Dont be too hard on yourself Monnie. You have 2 kids under 18 months, you've moved to a new location, you are a bit isolated as you dont drive. Its no wonder things are overwhelming.

    What do you really want to start with first? A routine for the kids? Cleaning the house? Cooking meals? Dont try and do it all at once. Work on one thing at a time.

    For me, I find if my house is tidy then I feel so much better in myself (my house is tidied ever day, being clean however is a whole other story). Why dont you pick the kitchen/living area, get that tidied up and start from there. I sometimes bring the washing basket or other tubs into the kitchen/lounge, fill it up with all the crap that belongs elsewhere and then walk around the house putting everything away. Stack the dishes in the dishwasher, wipe down the benches, throw the cushions back on the couch (for the 1400th time that day).

    Start small. Doing too much at once will overwhelm you.

    I should add, I think at least once a week I complain that NOTHING could ever have prepared me for how constant the house tidying/cleaning/picking up was. It never ever stops!

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  12. #9
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    You're not hopeless, you're overwhelmed. That's completely fair enough.

    If you want things to change though, I'd do as others suggest and pick ONE thing first...whatever you think would make the biggest difference, or be the easiest. So... it could be setting a routine, it could be dinner, it could be washing...whatever you think. Then plan HOW you can do that. Rope in your partner to help however you need him to, and stick to it.

    Once you get into a new habit, it becomes much easier. It's also great motivation to change more things when you see the difference that it makes.

  13. #10
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    Monnie our DS's are about the same age and mine didn't have the struggles that yours did at the start if his life - and I struggle every day.
    Some days are great and I feel like super mum, others I feel like a total failure... Thus I have no advice. But with a toddler also - I think your super mum!!

    Mega hugs <3


 

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