I am a payee and I am repartnered. ExDP is also repartnered with a new child and a partner who doesn't work, we have a private arrangement and it works for us because we are amicable and understand that life happens. He will pay more if I ask, and I understand if he can't pay here or there. At the moment he is back paying 3 months of CS at a small amount each week as I understood that things happen and come up.
I think that there needs to be more support for separating parents to understand each other and not do the he said/she said, he gets/she gets attitude that gets thrown around so regularly! There's so much bitterness in separations so peoples feelings get in the way of what's important - ensuring the kids are well look after.
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14-10-2014 09:48 #151Senior Member
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- Apr 2014
14-10-2014 10:23 #152
14-10-2014 10:28 #153
This is simply one of the most offensive and hurtful things I have ever read on here. What parent, step parent, bio mother or father is FAILING to do their role? Is it not the main objective in these situations to work together? I know I sure as hell do and believe me, under very difficult circumstances. Perhaps there are some non custodial parents who don't step up to the plate, but there are lot that do and go above and beyond despite incredibly difficult circumstances beyond their control. Not every non custodial parent chooses to relinquish time with their child or has less than 50% by choice, however when this is the circumstance, they are being perceived as failing to fulfil their duties as a parent. Can't win, honestly. No wonder things end up so hostile between people trying to co-parent , if this is the sort of perception that's out there.
14-10-2014 10:30 #154
Everyone, I guess this is a topic that could be debated endlessly. There are no winners in the situation and the system as it is will not please everyone involved.
Please just be mindful that there are people who do have logical arguments for and against the current system and each of us has different experiences and backgrounds. Please don't make assumptions and at least try to be diplomatic, it's a very sensitive topic for
14-10-2014 10:39 #155
I thought Ra Ra was saying that she wishes step parents wouldn't resent their step children, but instead embrace them.
I'm sure she isn't saying that every step parent is like that, but some are.
I know a couple that have recently started lying to CL and CSA by having the stepmum claim SPP (they also have children together), in turn reducing what the Dad has to pay in CS for his other children... All because they still want to be able to spend frivolously.
14-10-2014 10:56 #156
The couple that you refer to - they need to be caught. That is completely selfish and abhorrent.
14-10-2014 10:59 #157
redlipsandpearls. ... Would you say that I apply to the evil step mother category who resents the presence of her step child? He is incredibly difficult to deal with but you know, we as a step parent and non custodial parent are doing everything we can to help him, at added expense. As it should be. It's what he needs!
14-10-2014 11:13 #158
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14-10-2014 11:53 #159
I don't know your situation, but it sounds like you are one of those step parents that is doing a wonderful job for the benefit of your step children. My post was in no way aimed at you or anyone that falls into that category.
14-10-2014 12:40 #160
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