So Dd is 14 weeks old and before she was born DH and I were both certain we only wanted one child. We had lots of good reasons for this including financial reasons, a desire to travel (which we would struggle to afford with multiple kids), and the fact that I wanted to continue to have time for my career. The thing is I didn't realise how much I would love being a mum! Dd has changed everything for me. Career, travel, money just don't seem to matter that much anymore. I want to spend as much time as possible with dd and on top of that I just feel this yearning for a second child. When I look at dd I picture her playing with (and fighting with) a little sister or brother. It's like our family just isn't complete.
Dh's reaction to Dd's arrival has been quite different. He too is absolutely smitten with her but if anything she's made him more certain 1 child is the right number. He wants to be able to give her the world and feels like having another child would be taking something from her or saying she wasn't enough.
i guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has been through something similar? Could my sudden change of heart just be a hormonal thing? If you've felt something similar did it pass? At the moment we've agreed to wait until dd is 1 year old before making a final decision but we're both incredibly stubborn people so I just don't know how we'll be able to come up with an option to make us both happy.
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11-10-2014 14:45 #1
Already clucky! Will this feeling pass?
11-10-2014 14:50 #2
yes. I went through this. Although my story is slightly different because I have 2 step kids who live with us some of the time. Another child for us means at times we have 4 children.
We agreed on one baby but throughout the whole baby stage I just knew there was another baby out there for us. I think we will have another but it is not my DPs full wishes and I guess we have to work out who misses out. Me by having another or him by not having another. Deep down I don't think a baby in a loving relationship would be regretted but not having another would be regretted if that makes sense?
I was also really into my career but now I don't really give 2 hoots about it!!!
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11-10-2014 18:33 #3
Thanks for your reply. It helps to know I'm not the only one to feel this way. It is funny how priorities can change so quickly. I'm keeping my fingers crossed dh will come around over the next few months. I agree with you 100% that not having another is far more likely to bring regret.
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11-10-2014 18:49 #4-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Whatever you do, use protection until you are certain it's not just hormones... Try borrowing a friends toddler for a week or two, that will probably sap the clukiness out of you.
11-10-2014 18:59 #5
Lol, I like the toddler plan! We will definitely use contraception for now. The last thing I would want is for DH to feel I trapped him into having another child. That just spells marriage disaster.
11-10-2014 19:06 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
I find the same thing. We were always going to have 2 kids, but when DD was born I couldn't shake the feeling that I wanted one more. It took a while to convince DH, but now we have number 3!
I thought I would be satisfied with 3, but there is a little bit if me that is disappointed that there won't be another!
If we had unlimited finances I think I would just keep having babies!
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