I feel like im losing my confidence & just getting upset cause I struggle to get ds to settle for me, he settles so much better for dh.
We are trying to work on the issues we are having with day sleeps but this is really hard as I struggle to settle him, especially when he's overtired & he just screams & screams until I give up & he doesnt end up going to sleep. He screams for dh too but dh always manages to settle him eventually.
I just feel like im failing him, he's barely sleeping during the day except when dh is here to put him down & I am struggling to fix that.
Like now for example, I know he's tired but he just screamed the house down when I tried to put him down for a sleep so I ended up just giving up & now we have to wait till dh gets home, by which point he'll be even more overtired.
I just wish I could settle him. Its so hard doing things without dh. And no, he wont take a dummy.
It makes me really sad that I cant do it, has anyone else had this problem?
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11-10-2014 13:23 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
My baby wont settle for me :(
11-10-2014 13:34 #2
Yes i have had this problem.
You have probably tried all these but these are some of my go too's when bubs won't settle.
A warm bath and gentle masage. Remembering the calmer I am the calmer they will be.
A quiet darkened room and a gentle singing or a soothing tape and a rocking chair.
Laying down on my bed with them and reading a book or making up a stroy in monotones.
A walk in the fresh air on a pram. If I can't get outside in the pram going over a bump like a rug edge over and over again in rythmn.
Gentle back patting
If it's hot laying on a cool wet cloth square nappy with a fan. Works Better than air con for a distressed bub. I have found.
Feeding to sleep.
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11-10-2014 13:35 #3
Great suggestions from anewme.
You could also try baby wearing them in a wrap or carrier. Bubs quite often settle when they are close to mum
11-10-2014 13:38 #4
It's tough, isn't it
I second either wearing in a wrap/carrier or getting out for a walk in the pram.
Do you know anyone who has a baby swing? Some babies love them, some hate them so it's worth trying one a couple of times first if you can.
11-10-2014 13:39 #5
11-10-2014 13:48 #6
DD1 never settled for me.
I found it was a vicious cycle. I'd get so stressed around the time I knew she had to go to sleep that I'm sure she would pick up on that and that made it even harder for her to settle and for me to settle her. Sorry can't really help as it went on for several months until she was over 6 months and we did CC.
11-10-2014 14:05 #7
It sounds like you're having a really tough time Heartstringz. I can't say I've had the same problem but just wanted to ask whether it might be possible your bubba is sensing how stressed out you're feeling and that's causing him to get more worked up? Personally I find dd is most relaxed and calm when I'm relaxed and calm.
Also are you sticking with the techniques the sleep consultant recommended? Change can take time so if you can, give it some time.
11-10-2014 14:11 #8-
- Join Date
- Mar 2013
How old is your baby heartstringz? If this were me I would be driving my baby around town just to get a nap x
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11-10-2014 14:11 #9
The first 4 months with DD were AWFUL. She rarely settled, she'd get so over-tired, and scream scream scream. It was hard. I felt like if I could just figure out that one thing... but it didn't happen.
There wasn't any magical thing that did it when she started to improve. It just happened gradually. I wish now I'd just gone with it - I would have been so much less stressed. At the time though, I thought I could find some solution.
It's hard, but you're not alone. You're not failing him; you can only do so much. If he doesn't sleep, he doesn't sleep...as much as it sucks.
11-10-2014 14:17 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2014
My first used to scream herself to sleep. Once I'd done everything and I knew she was tired all I could do was get myself comfortable and hold her. I would put some music on and sing to her until she fell asleep. My main focus was to just make sure that she wasn't left so she knew I was there for her and to remain calm so she wouldn't pick up on my stress. She would fall asleep eventually. She's almost 9 and still takes ages to wind down and drift off to sleep, so it's easy for me to look back and realise that this is just how she is wired. She rarely tells me she's tired (and wasn't great at giving me tired cues as a baby either) and she will lie awake in her bed moving around for up to an hour after she's been put in bed, no matter what time she goes to bed. Now she's older I've found the best thing to do is to let her read for a minimum of 30 minutes because it helps her to relax. She also never slept as much as other babies seemed to, and she still doesn't seem to need as much sleep as her peers.
From reading your previous posts you sound really stressed out and I'm sure that's the only difference between you and DH. He probably just stays more relaxed through the screaming than you do, which makes sense, because it's a physiological reaction to feel anxious when your baby is crying.
Last edited by Full House; 11-10-2014 at 14:22.
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