I'm at a loss at what to do and hoping you ladies can help me out with your advice and experiences.
I have a beautiful little boy 21 months who is the apple of my eye. We have been trying to give him a sibling since he was 1.
He is an IVF boy, first round and we know we where extremely lucky. I have now been through 2 fresh cycles of the first one resulting in 1 egg, which fertilized but didn't stick. we had a month off then last month we got 3 eggs, but only 1 egg made it to day 5 and again resulted in a bfn
I'm devastated to say the least, we said that our last round would be our last round regardless of what happens. Mainly because the injections mess alot with me and I always have a really rough time at egg pick up. The money comes into account for me, but my DH says that it really shouldn't as we can always earn more... We are with Genea and have been with our OB (also our fertility dr) for 6 years so I really don't want to change clinics. Even though we are out of pocket over $3500 each go.
So I don't know what to do. I would really like to have another baby, mainly as I want my boy to have a sibling and also I always thought we would have 2 kids. Having said that, I have hardly any support to help out and know it would be a strain on me and DH, but surely only for 6-8 months until we all settle into a routine and DS adjusts to a new bubba in the house. I do worry that I will get PND again and expect too.
My question is, when did you know your last IVF cycle would be? how do you determine this? Do you just keep going until there where no eggs? Should I just be happy with have one healthy child as alot of women would give their left arm for just one. TIA
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 10 of 11
08-10-2014 11:23 #1
How did you know when your last IVF cycle would be?
08-10-2014 11:42 #2Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
This is something I'm also in the process of trying to decide - I have the most beautiful 3 &1/2 yo son, & have also been trying to give him a sibling since he was 1. Our son was the result of our very first ICSI round, & we also know how lucky we were. We've since done 4 full stim cycles, the first 3 resulting in only 1 embryo making it to transfer (nothing to freeze), & the last one we ended up with one to transfer (BFN) & 5 in the freezer - I couldn't believe it! We're just about to start our very first FET cycle, & I am hoping with all my heart that it works. But we've had the discussion that if none of these 5 work, then that's it for us. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, & have kind of decided that I'll deal with it if & when the time comes. I think it's something only you & your DH can decide on, as every situation is different. Good luck making your decision xx
08-10-2014 16:22 #3
Wow! That's great you've got some frosties! We live in hope of that lol. I feel like I want to go again, but wonder if maybe the universe is saying no, you can't handle another, for whatever reason.
08-10-2014 16:42 #4
Nala I contemplated the same thing when I started trying for no 2. I decided one child wasn't an option and new that I would want 2. I had decided to do donor egg if need be (also have next to nothing at pick up) but DH opinion on this was negative. I had hoped I would just talk him into it eventually. I have been extremely lucky in that I haven't had to pursue that line of thought but it was my plan. Good luck I really hope it works for you. I probably would also change Drs but that's a personal thing too.
The Following User Says Thank You to Beta For This Useful Post:
08-10-2014 19:29 #5Junior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2014
Nala9000, congratulations on your little boy. I am sorry to hear your most recent cycles for a sibling have not ended in a pregnancy.
Speaking from the perspective of someone who hasn't fallen pregnant yet with IVF (I've had four cycles so far), I can say that before we went into IVF, we discussed how many cycles we wanted to do and yes, finance was a big factor (more so now that I've been told I am being made redundant at the end of the year).
We decided that we could afford about five cycles and that was it. We also did a bit of research and asked our doctor at what point did the percentage of getting pregnant with IVF drop and were informed that the percentage was the same for the first five cycles but tended to drop to lower numbers after that. So that was a deciding factor too.
We honestly didn't think we would need all five cycles (how naive we were) but here we are with one final cycle left to try and no more chances after that.
To decide, you really need to just look at your own situation (financially) but also emotionally and mentally. Will you be able to handle another cycle or two? These are the sorts of questions I had to ask myself. Four cycles in and I'll be honest, I am barely keeping it together right now. I just hope I can handle one more cycle without falling apart if it fails.
Good luck with your next cycle(s) if you decide to have more. I really hope things work out and that your little boy gets a sibling.
08-10-2014 20:27 #6
I went through Genea and once I realised that scooping out as many eggs as possible was going to be a factor we changed to a cheaper clinic. I know you don't want to do that but RPA has the same doctors (although you can't choose which one) and lab as genea so you aren't starting from scratch, my doc at RPA carried off from where my doc at genea left it. A full stim cycle sets me back $1500 a time. Just a thought. The money for us was a huge issue and strain.
As our first bub took 4 stim cycles, we said we would do 4 more to get him a sibling. Then I saw how many women on bub hub got their bubs through many cycles and losses through sheer persistence. I also saw a few stats that made me think 5 shots at it might be what we need. So here we are about to embark on the last (5th) one (10! in total inc a cancelled cycle). Plus my age is a huge factor, if I was younger I might keep trying with more time to recover in between. Having spent the last year stressing and neglecting other aspects of my life I'm ready to grieve and move on.
I also worry about the stresses and strains of having a second child. I know I won't be a happier person if I have a second. In fact, life will be easier with just one. That doesn't stop us wanting another child though does it?
Sounds like you aren't ready to give up yet........
08-10-2014 21:14 #7
This is a very interesting post as I'm in the process of preparing for ivf for #2.
My DS took 4 cycles (1 stim 3 FET) so I'm expecting that no#2 would be a similar experience.
I am hoping to yield a good number of eggs to have some frosties again as I really can't see myself doing another stim if this one fails. However I know a lot can go wrong and I don't know whether I'll get any left to freeze this time.
Finances are a main factor for us.. I can't fathom being broke and in debt after endless cycles. I am so grateful for my boy and we can give him a good life if he was an only child. Of course the thought of him being our only one breaks my heart and I'm sure will take lots of grieving if it came to this.
Only you can decide when enough is enough. If you have the money and will power then yes, why not keep trying but I'd say get a second opinion about the poor response to meds.
08-10-2014 21:16 #8
I have transfered 12 embryos, my DS is now 3, we have our groove on, a nice family of 3. I'm so so so over Ivf that this is our last cycle and its so clear to me that this is it. I think you just know when you are done. If not just have a break and see how you feel next year.
08-10-2014 22:32 #9
We were struggling with this only a few months ago. When I started ivf I thought I would just keep going until the doctor said we should stop. After 2 failed cycles (similar to yours - only 2 eggs at EPU and only one embryo to transfer) we changed clinics as our doctor wasn't sure why we weren't getting more eggs. Then during our 3rd cycle I broke down and told dh I couldn't take it anymore and this was it, I was done. He eventually convinced me to go for a 4th (as it's a bit rough to expect the new fs to get it first go!) but luckily for us he did!
I really trust my fs so if he told me we still had a good chance I think I would eventually give in and try again, but if he said the chances were really slim I'd probably call it quits.
I saw a counselor during our cycles and one thing he said that really helped me was to focus on the medium term plan rather than the end. I.e. how many cycles are you prepared to do the next 6 or 12 months. How many cycles are you prepared to do before you get a second opinion. How many cycles will you do before you take a good break. Make some decisions about those things, and then when you reach that point you can reevaluate.
If you're unsure about whether you are done, maybe take 6 months off, give your body and mind a rest, and then think about it again. I ultimately think this is what I would have done if we didn't get our first bfp in our 3rd cycle.
Sent from my HTC_PN071 using The Bub Hub mobile app
25-10-2014 16:03 #10
What did to you decide @Nala9000? I'm in the same boat as you, with yesterday's EPU cancelled. I wouldn't be able to fit another cycle in this year, so that would out our safety net back to $0. I think DH was ready to give up 6 months ago, but knew I desperately want a sibling for our 2.5yo. We can afford it, financially, but I realised today that its probably unfair of me to keep putting DH through it, emotionally. He was telling me how guilty he felt whenever he spent money on himself because that could be spent on medical expenses.
I'm going to see the counsellor, hopefully next week, to help talk through the finality of saying out loud "we're done".
Sent from my IdeaTab S6000-F using The Bub Hub mobile app
By AlirasMummy in forum General Sleeping & Settling ChatReplies: 14Last Post: 01-06-2014, 23:28
By Mellie29 in forum Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) ChatReplies: 1Last Post: 02-03-2014, 08:41
By stillfuntryin in forum IVFReplies: 0Last Post: 04-12-2013, 07:35
LCF Fun Languages AustraliaFrench, Spanish, Mandarin, Italian & German lessons for children 0-12 years. Play-based and immersion language ...
LATESTToilet training: when is the best time to start?Why it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
IVF babies due Sep/Oct/Nov 2017pregnancy and babies through IVF
The Not So Serious Vent Thread #7General Chat
Situations - ok or not ok?General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Same sex parents or parents to be chat!Same Sex Parents
Tell me about your high school reunion/s!General Chat
Welcome to the BubHub!Introductions
Pokemon go. Chat #2General Chat