Umm not quite sure where to start.. I'm a male ( hope that's okay, this is my last resort.) In a nutshell she isn't as opened minded to sex as I would have liked through this period. It's as if she has no desire for it while I have wanted her more than ever. I'm not sure what to do from here and would like some advise if possible.
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07-10-2014 22:15 #1Junior Member
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- Oct 2014
07-10-2014 22:31 #2
She is going through a lot physically. Plus hormones during pregnancy are unpredictable and annoying as hell. Basically just try to be understanding.
My first pregnancy I loved sex and couldn't get enough. My second I hated the thought of it and all I wanted was my own personal space. I loved my husband completely, still thought he was very attractive, but just did not want to be touched. At all. For me it was the hormones.
maybe offer to give her massage, run a relaxing bath... See where that may lead. You may find taking the pressure off will yield the best results..
08-10-2014 09:30 #3
Sounds pretty normal - hormones, physical discomfort/pain, feeling unattractive because of body changes, fear of hurting the baby (I know everyone says it won't harm the baby at all, but you can't help still worrying!)...
If you're not already doing this, my only suggestion would be to try lots of foreplay type stuff, give her lots of attention, you could even say at the start that this doesn't have to lead to sex which would allow you to enjoy some physical intimacy without her feeling too pressured.
There was a couple of months when I was pregnant that I wanted it heaps but my partner never did, I know it's not fun. But it's only temporary
08-10-2014 10:03 #4
I didn't sleep with hubby at all while I was pregnant. We had already had a loss and I was terrified that I would somehow trigger a miscarriage. There are other things you can do for intimacy.
I also felt huge and quite disgusting. I was only just over feeling sick 24/7 and to be honest I just wanted a back rub and some chocolate.
08-10-2014 10:09 #5
First of all, if she's having a normal pregnancy, then she's tired. More tired than you ever thought humanly possible. It's not something that more sleep can fix (though it helps) as the hormone progesterone, which is at high levels until about week16, is a natural sedative. So she's trying to go about her day with natures own temazepan coursing through her system.
Then if she's having any nausea, motion will set it off, especially rocking/repeated movement (wink, wink) and she will NOT want anything hitting the back of her throat and triggering the gag reflex! Plus her boobs will be so sensitive - you can pretty much write off touching those puppies until she's done breastfeeding.
There's a saying that foreplay for a man starts in the bedroom but for a woman it starts long before that. This is even more true during pregnancy. Hormones will be making her more emotional and sensitive than ever. Nice things through the day and evening (as many chores as you can, a foot rub, telling her she's as beautiful as the day you met -at 10 am, not 5 minutes before bed with a wink and a grope) will all help her feel like putting in the effort to fight the fatigue, bloating, nausea, aches, etc and rekindle a bit of passion.
There's every chance the hormones will work in your favour later on. Both times I got pretty frisky at the start of the 3rd trimester... Until I turned into a ridiculous blimp.
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