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  1. #11
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    Thank you everyone. I didn't sleep a wink all last night and I'm exhausted.

    I feel like I've let everyone down. The reason why the penny dropped is because I went to get a referral for a (much wanted) elective surgery last week and got a script for the pill. I was supposed to get this months ago but just didn't get around to it. Just bring slack and lazy and a little part of me just not wanting to. Added to that we have sex on average once a month these days!!!! When I told my DH that I finally got around getting the script he was shocked.

    I really dont don't want him to resent me. We were moving State to allow him to follow his dream. My mum and Dad are putting plans to move into a retirement home to put us up for a while when we get there. I've completely jinxed a promotion I've worked so hard for at work because I told them I was leaving by Easter.

    I feel like an idiot this is a nightmare. Despite the above I know I'll regret if I had an abortion. My son would miss out on a chance for another person in his life. He really is a lonely only child. Sorry just venting here

  2. #12
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    I just wanted to send you hugs. Big decision. And some big changes to accommodate either way. From what you have said you sound like a good juggler and apt at making things work. Don't feel like an idiot. Weigh it up, give yourself a big hug and keep on going xxx

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to BbBbBh For This Useful Post:

    Naboo  (08-10-2014),theworkingmum  (09-07-2017)

  4. #13
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    Thanks Bb your post has made me all teary!

  5. #14
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    My mum and dad had me at 41 & 42. My closest brother was 13yrs older than me (I was a surprise obviously) and I wouldn't have it any other way!

    They are in their 70's now while a lot of my friends parents are in their 50's. I can't think of any bad reasons on why they shouldn't have had me so late at all.

    Because I was such a surprise and so far apart from my siblings they made a decision to 'do this one right' and I had the most loving amazing childhood thanks to them enjoying every minute of it because I was such a blessing (plus the doctors thought I would have Down syndrome, but didn't)

    Go for it. Have your special second child & try to work your life around it all 😊

  6. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to mrswhitehouse For This Useful Post:

    lilypily  (08-10-2014),Naboo  (08-10-2014),PinkPopsicle  (08-10-2014),ScubaGal  (08-10-2014)

  7. #15
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    Lovely to hear @mrswhitehouse

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  9. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Naboo View Post
    Thank you everyone. I didn't sleep a wink all last night and I'm exhausted.

    I feel like I've let everyone down. The reason why the penny dropped is because I went to get a referral for a (much wanted) elective surgery last week and got a script for the pill. I was supposed to get this months ago but just didn't get around to it. Just bring slack and lazy and a little part of me just not wanting to. Added to that we have sex on average once a month these days!!!! When I told my DH that I finally got around getting the script he was shocked.

    I really dont don't want him to resent me. We were moving State to allow him to follow his dream. My mum and Dad are putting plans to move into a retirement home to put us up for a while when we get there. I've completely jinxed a promotion I've worked so hard for at work because I told them I was leaving by Easter.

    I feel like an idiot this is a nightmare. Despite the above I know I'll regret if I had an abortion. My son would miss out on a chance for another person in his life. He really is a lonely only child. Sorry just venting here
    You haven't let anyone down.

    Don't feel as though you need to adjust to suit the universe, let the universe adjust to you guys. Enjoy the ride, as chaotic as it sounds - those unexpected surprises often turn out to be catalysts of really good change.... However that pans out for you.

    You have nothing to really fear as an older mum of a newbie. Take it from me, a fellow older newbie mum. 40 is the new 30 anyway, live it up and treat yourself. You'll do great.

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    Naboo  (08-10-2014)

  11. #17
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    You may also want to have a chat to the ladies in the Over 40 and Pregnant thread too, as some of them might have similar situations to you.

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    Naboo  (08-10-2014)

  13. #18
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    Thank you so much everyone! I'm swinging wildly one side to the next. This morning getting for work I had decided not to go through with it then when I was dropping off my son - who has always been a tummy kisser - kissed my tummy furiously about 20 times. He did that yesterday too. I'm trying to take abit of the emotion out of it but it's hard not to believe it's fate, especially as the baby was conceived on Fathers Day.

    Thanks for the tip of going to the 40+ section. I will head over there today.

    Thanks again everyone for being so supportive I really appreciate it!!

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  15. #19
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    I would say if you are not really sure about termination, then it's probably not the option for you. All the cons you speak of... Well, they're not that big in the scheme of things. I don't mean to trivialise it at all, but they are all things you will be able to look back at with hindsight and realise they all have solutions.

    I very almost terminated my 5 yr old. The pregnancy was a big surprise and I didn't see a way to make it work... Well, 5 yrs on and life is great. I love my little guy (and his baby sister) more than anything. I realise that it is different for everyone, but I think termination has to be one of those things you know you want to do..

    Also, I have almost 5 yrs between my kids... The age gap is amazing. Ds adores his baby sister. There has not been even a hint of jealousy. It's great. Dh and I have both found going from 1 to 2 so, so much easier than 0 to 1.

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  17. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barnaby View Post
    Also, I have almost 5 yrs between my kids... The age gap is amazing. Ds adores his baby sister. There has not been even a hint of jealousy. It's great. Dh and I have both found going from 1 to 2 so, so much easier than 0 to 1.
    I also have 5.5 years between my 2 and also love the age gap more than I expected. We always knew we wanted DD to be fairly independent when we had another, just in case bub2 was a colicky nightmare like her!

    At 32, having already lived as an adult for quite a while without children, I found the adjustment to parenthood with my first came with a lot of challenges, I really had to adjust my whole mindset. However, when #2 came along, the mental jump was so much easier, I was already living my life taking into account a child, had made adjustments to my career etc. So it's easier to work out how to make it work, IYKWIM?

    I wish I could say DH coped better with #2, but he once again went through all the struggles of 'losing me' (as he puts it) and not having the usual support and attention from me that he needs. He did get over it faster 2nd time around though, I think partly because I knew how to manage him better and partly because he looks at our older child and knows it is all worth it.

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