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  1. #1
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    Default Help! Unexpected pregnancy at 42 :(

    I really need help. I've found myself unexpectedly pregnant at 42. I haven't been on the pill for years and for a day earlier this year thought I was pregnant but was a false alarm. After that I was going to go straight on the pill but life just kept getting in the way. DH and I have a solid relationship but don't have a lot of sex. I had my eggs counted two years ago and it came back with a less than half of the average at my age. So little to no chance of getting pregnant.

    I am an only child and my DS6 is also. I have really struggled with my DH and my decision to not have another child (made about 3 / 4 years ago) EVERY SINGLE DAY.

    the reason we decided not to have another child is because my DH has depression and struggles mainly with work. He has had a major career change and now I am the main bread winner.

    We had decided to move states next year to be closer to my family and to allow him to work at his new career full time and I would be the sole bread winner. I've even told my work as I was trying to wrangle a redundancy. I had plans to study my Masters.

    Then BAM 4 pregnancy tests later I'm pregnant around 4 weeks. I don't know what to do, we had all these plans!! My DH would never tell me to have an abortion so he's trying to look at the bright side. I thought I was finally coming to terms with never having my most wanted 2nd. Now I'm looking at being 60 when my second finishes high school.

    I think I'm going to regret either decision. Do you think I should go ahead with the main motivation being to have a sibling my my son. I know he'd love to have one.

    Please help me see the wood from the trees!

  2. #2
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    Honestly I don't think you would regret having a second if its what your heart wanted.

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  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Naboo View Post
    I really need help. I've found myself unexpectedly pregnant at 42. I haven't been on the pill for years and for a day earlier this year thought I was pregnant but was a false alarm. After that I was going to go straight on the pill but life just kept getting in the way. DH and I have a solid relationship but don't have a lot of sex. I had my eggs counted two years ago and it came back with a less than half of the average at my age. So little to no chance of getting pregnant.

    I am an only child and my DS6 is also. I have really struggled with my DH and my decision to not have another child (made about 3 / 4 years ago) EVERY SINGLE DAY.

    the reason we decided not to have another child is because my DH has depression and struggles mainly with work. He has had a major career change and now I am the main bread winner.

    We had decided to move states next year to be closer to my family and to allow him to work at his new career full time and I would be the sole bread winner. I've even told my work as I was trying to wrangle a redundancy. I had plans to study my Masters.

    Then BAM 4 pregnancy tests later I'm pregnant around 4 weeks. I don't know what to do, we had all these plans!! My DH would never tell me to have an abortion so he's trying to look at the bright side. I thought I was finally coming to terms with never having my most wanted 2nd. Now I'm looking at being 60 when my second finishes high school.

    I think I'm going to regret either decision. Do you think I should go ahead with the main motivation being to have a sibling my my son. I know he'd love to have one.

    Please help me see the wood from the trees!
    Oh golly. I don't think I can give you advice in such a situation. But the odds of getting pregnant naturally at 42 are so slim I'd think it was a bit of a miracle.

    I don't think worrying about being older when the kids are older is as much of a factor as people make it out to be. What's important is having good loving parents plus people just adjust, the human race is good at it. I think it sounds like you want this baby so go for it. The worries will sort themselves out

    As for your husband, well mental health support services are getting better all the time so hopefully you can find some good support if it's difficult for him.

    Good luck to you. And, congratulations!

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    Naboo  (07-10-2014)

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    Only you can answer the question not even your DH can tell you the answer ....you will live with what ever decision you make for the rest of your life..
    It's not an easy one to make ...I've been surprised at the age of so many celebrities that have had babies don't let age be the reason not to go ahead....
    Good luck with what ever decision you make ...

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Naboo  (07-10-2014)

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    I don't have a lot if advice for you... My now 4 DS was a surprise and I remember the stress and panic I first felt - we too had plans that would have to change... I now look back and wish I could have told my self to relax and that my DS was the most amazing thing that could have happened to me!!!

    I once read in here that you won't regret the child you do have, but you might regret the one you don't have... I think that really rings true.

    Good luck with whatever you decide. xx

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    Mummy5ormore  (25-10-2014)

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    It's what my heart wanted.

    I look at those stupid 'My Family' stickers on those cars always looking for one with 3 stickers (mum,dad, child) so I didn't feel so alone. I feel so sad that I didn't have a second but we were making plans. My parents are excited to have us back. Those plans hinged on me working full time to support the family.

    But I don't think I could go through an abortion. I'm so confused

    i keep looking king at the digital test and it says Pregnant. No arguing with that!!

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    Mummy5ormore  (25-10-2014)

  12. #7
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    Thank you for replying everyone. I can't find the thank you button!!

  13. #8
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    If its what your heart wanted then go with it ....congrats. ..

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  15. #9
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    It's pretty obvious you would rather have the baby, so go with the path of least regret! I'm glad your husband is trying to look on the bright side, and who knows if you both work very hard you may still both be able to get what you want. And you're not the only one to have a baby that late lots of people are doing it these days, your kids won't be the only ones with older parents.

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    Naboo  (08-10-2014)

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    Hi Naboo!
    I've just been through a similar situation, my two children were 16 & 19, I've been married 20 years, we were planning on winding up a bit & maybe moving further out into the country. I was 42, and discovered that I was expecting! Was a bit of a shock, but everyone got used to the idea. My poor body didnt like the pregnancy, but I'm 43 now and have a gorgeous 6 month old daughter. I would do it all over again given the chance! I feel that gate stepped in and gave her to us, maybe the same in your case

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