My hubby has been doing FIFO for about 6 years now. I didn't find it as hard back when we had no children. I kept busy with work and friends. Now we have 2 children, and for me it's definitely more challenging now. Our eldest is 2.5 and youngest is 1.5, and some hitches I feel like I cannot cope with FIFO anymore and wish hubby would be walking in the door of an evening. We are very lucky that he is on an even time roster (3 weeks on 3 weeks off), so we get a good chunk of time with him at home. The family time we have together and the fact that I can continue to be a SAHM makes it really worthwhile for us. Yes I miss him, yes some days it's hard, but when we weigh it up, FIFO works for our family much better than if hubby was working close to home. My hubby loves his job (despite having to be away from us) and went into FIFO as a career change and not just a way for us to get ahead money wise.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that only you and your partner know if FIFO is really for you and your family. It can take awhile to adjust to it though, so maybe you need to give it a bit more time?
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06-10-2014 19:08 #11
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07-10-2014 11:23 #14
I find the best way to adjust as much as you can is to have a routine of what you do each day while they're away (ie, say you go to the gym on the same days each week or do a particular activity on the same days each time) it makes the time go faster. I find having activities or projects I do only when DH is away really helps. That way I'm not sitting around doing what we'd normally be doing, just without him. For me, that makes it seem much worse.
There are positives though. I find doing FIFO gives you an opportunity to do some romantic things you might not necessarily do if they were here. I slip secret notes in his bag the night before he leaves, we send random texts listing reasons why we love each other, we play a game called "remember when" and send one text a day describing a memory about something we've done or a way the other person made us smile, so we can remember all the good times we've had while we're waiting to be together again. Those sorts of things often get left behind when you're together every day. I find we also just don't argue. An argument is rare for us anyway, he's like water on my fire, but with him doing FIFO, it gives a new meaning to picking your battles. Most little 'annoyances' just don't seem worth arguing over. You've got limited time together, there's no time for stupid fights over some small issue.
07-10-2014 11:39 #15
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07-10-2014 13:44 #16
I'm going to spend time thinking about that and all those positives right now, since DH flew out this morning and last night was just one of those times where it feels extra difficult and emotional 😞
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07-10-2014 14:03 #17
Having said that im usually ready for him to leave again within a day or 2 lol.
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07-10-2014 14:45 #18Senior Member
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My husband has worked away for about 8 years now. We have been together for 14 years so it keeps our relationship fresh. I love it. I find the week so hectic with work and looking after the kids (2 boys) 4 years and 6 months that I couldn't cope having to give attention to someone else. I find that we talk more when he is away because we talk on this phone most nights. I find the vest way to deal with it is to be organised with the kids so I can cope by myself.
It is getting a bit harder now with my oldest son as he gets upset when dad goes away and that hurts both me and my husband but he is working away to achieve our goals and we know that he will come back to town eventually.
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