... your family was/wasn't cut out to cope with one of you working FIFO?
DH has been working FIFO 3/1 since April. It's been a pretty full on 6 months for us, moving interstate at the same time as commencing FIFO, so I've had lots of work to do there, I've started working again, DS has been sick all winter, plus the last few weeks DH has had a lot of job uncertainty.
I thought by now I'd be settled into the routine of it all now, but it seems to be getting harder not easier.
How long did it take for you to either get into the swing of things and start to cope well, or realise that FIFO just wasn't for you? Any tips always welcome!
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06-10-2014 12:17 #1
FIFO - When did you know...
06-10-2014 14:15 #2
I know my hubby isn't fifo. He's a truck driver and I only see him 1 1/2 days a week. I am used to it now. But the first year or 2 I struggled.
Sending positive vibes x
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06-10-2014 14:59 #3
My DH was FIFO when I met him, my ex H was before that too. For the first year DH and I were dating it was fine, we missed each other a lot but we both dealt with it. Fast forward almost 4 years and, well, there are starting to he more cons than pros for us now, especially on the 2/1 roster he does.
We are extremely close and I still love the excited feelings we get to have on fly in day and he spends all of his time with me when he's home - we basically lock ourselves away from the world! But it's getting harder and harder each swing when he leaves, not easier. It's difficult for him to find a job in Perth doing what he's doing, but we've made a decision between us that next year he will find a job with a shorter roster or come back to Perth anyway.
I don't know whether it's always a black and white "right for us" / "wrong for us" situation. If it's causing major problems in your marriage and either of you are very unhappy with the situation, then it's best to give it away. I find I have some swings where I miss him desperately and we both wish we weren't doing this, and others where it's not so bad. Usually it depends a lot for me on whether something is going wrong at home and I feel like I don't want to deal with it myself.
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06-10-2014 17:36 #4
Thanks girls. Thankfully it isn't having a negative impact on our relationship. We've seen long FIFO rosters muck up friends' relationships so are both working hard to not let that happen. He's doing all he can to get a better roster.
I think I just underestimated how much of an adjustment it would be since DH already worked such long hours. I just didn't realise how unrelenting it would be.
06-10-2014 17:43 #5
06-10-2014 18:05 #6
Sometimes I think fifo isnt for us, but other times I can't imagine life any other way.
Dh has been fifo for over 12 months, supposed to ve on a 2/1 roster but he rarely actually does it, its usually more like 3 weeks on 4 days off, his last stint was 5 weeks on (he had only had 2 days home prior to that).
We have had lots of issues and there have been times when I have wanted to call it quits. But fifo has opened a lot of communication for us so we have been able to deal with the issues a lot better.
Some days I cant cope with him being away and wish he could be home every night but then most of the time I really enjoy him being away. It keeps a certain spark in our relationship- we appreciate each other more and the time we do have together is quality time. And tbh, having him hom drives me a bit crazy because the kids and I have a good routine and things just flow pretty smoothly, but him being home kind of throws it out the window
I just keep reminding myself that no matter how much im struggling, its a lot harder on him- at least I can see the kids every day and im not missing milestones or events in their life. Having said that, he has his own life away and I do get jealous.
For the most part fifo works for us but I have found you need to be able to communicate very well and have a lot of trust in each other.
Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
06-10-2014 18:14 #7
Last edited by CookingMonster; 06-10-2014 at 18:23.
06-10-2014 18:14 #8
Dh has been fifo for roughly 4 years and when we first started I absolutely hated it. I had a new baby, I felt like I was parenting alone and I was so sad that he was missing out on everything. A few years later just as I started to get into the swing of things and then he came home for a family death and started working at home again.
It took me only a few weeks to realise that fifo worked better for us. He was leaving in the morning at 5am and not getting back till 7pm so I felt even more alone.
So into our 4th year now and on a 7/7 roster which is amazing. He gets so much time with dd when he's home and by the time I start to miss him it's only a few days till he's home again.
I definitely couldn't live with some of the longer rosters and have tried in the past but this one works for our family.
I think the main thing is communication and if one of you aren't happy with the situation definitely have some serious chats about it. I still have my moments where i wish he was home every weekend but then when I see how much fun he and dd have when he's home it far outweighs the odd lonely weekend!
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06-10-2014 18:25 #9
06-10-2014 18:57 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2014
My DH has been fifo now for 8 years (between 4-6 weeks on/off). The first few years were easy for me, I have always been independent, great social network, study to keep me busy etc. When DD1 came along (about 2 years in) it was hard, but we managed. Fast forward to DD2 (18mths old) and with me working full time it has been a challenge - we made the decision (once pg #3 was confirmed) that we would move (smaller mortgage, cheaper cost of living) so I could afford to be a sahm for at least a few years. We are really happy with the decision, my DH would prefer to be at home, but when we weigh up the not seeing us for x weeks vs the x weeks at home uninterrupted (without being tired each night from work etc) it is quality time and works for us. It would be really hard for us to have him home full time (financially and routine wise) so we accept thats the way it is
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