MIL has lied to you and put your children at risk. She allowed you to let your children run around naked in front of him. No relationship should ever be more important than the safety of a child especially one that she is supposed to love.
OP I am so sorry this has happened to you and your family. It's great that the family is going to get some help to get you through this
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04-10-2014 19:55 #41
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04-10-2014 20:11 #42
I'm another one who could never speak to MIL or FIL again, nor let either of them set eyes on my children.
I'm really sorry you're having to go through this OP, it must feel like everything you know is being torn apart. You and your husband can get through it together though. Xxx
04-10-2014 20:17 #43Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
Yes, I think that this level of betrayal, regardless of the remorse and willingness to rehabilitate would mean that I would cut ties with both of them. Family means everything to me but I couldn't ever condone or forgive this.
I'm so sorry, I can only imagine how you and your DH must be feeling. Is he close to his sister? It might help for them to spend some time together soon.
04-10-2014 20:20 #44Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
So sorry that your family is going thru this. I agree with pp that you should possibly commit to some counselling. I think you will go thru so many emotions, disgust, horror, hurt, anger etc. And I think being such an unusual circumstance it would be hard to know how to deal with it and protect your family unit.
Again im really really sorry and just take it all a day at a time at first. Get thru tonight, then tomorrow etc etc xx
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04-10-2014 20:28 #45
Firstly im really sorry you are going through this.
I would seek out some counselling for youself and dh. Be kind to each other too.
And remember theres a whole hub full of ladies and gents that have open ears if you need it
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04-10-2014 20:46 #46
04-10-2014 21:23 #47
Hugs to you and your dh. I cannot fathom how you would be feeling right now. I certainly don't support your mil for her knowing and not protecting your children but I wonder how much she knew, what fil told her and if she is in a controlling relationship with him. Not an excuse but it may offer some understanding of why she stayed quiet. This is an awful awful situation and I am also disgusted in the result of the court case.
04-10-2014 23:06 #48Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2014
I feel so completely sick. Anger beyond words.
04-10-2014 23:19 #49
I'm so very sorry this happened. No wonder you feel sick. I really hope you and your DH are able to sit and talk when your kids go to sleep.
I just want to echo what others have said about professional help for your family and to help your kids understand why they don't see this person/ these people anymore.
Counselling may also help your DH confront his parents if he needs to do that to move forward from here or if he decides he wants any kind of relationship with either of them - as unlikely as that may sound.
04-10-2014 23:45 #50
I just wanted to reply. I've read along today. I'm so sorry this happened to your family. Your DH sounds like a gentle soul. I can't imagine what this feels like. Facing up to abusers in a family takes real guts. Just wanted to input that a similar horrible thing happened a long time ago to members of my (very) extended family. It was the same deal, the male grandparent in that family. His wife stood by him. So those grandparents were cut off from all relatives for good, which meant sons, daughters, and the grandchildren never saw them or spoke with them ever again. everyone involved sought counselling. Sad and traumatic - but they have moved on now and many years later all are living quite happy lives. It took some time. Again, so sorry to hear of this OP.
By moongazer in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & ChatReplies: 17Last Post: 10-09-2014, 11:41
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