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  1. #31
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    I am really struggling to see things clearly from here in the middle of it.

    Redlipsandpearls, thankfully my kids are very young still so I am 100% certain nothing untoward would have happened to them directly. My stepchild on the other hand is a teenager and has SO much going on already.

    Desperate for the kids to get to sleep so DH and I can talk. I don't know if he'll have much to say though, he looks completely dumbstruck.

  2. #32
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    OP, I am so sorry to hear you're all going through this, and feel for you all so much.

    If I can offer any practical advice, it's that I implore you to see if your poor Dh is open and receptive to speaking with a Counsellor, specifically a trained one in family therapy, as right now not only will he be absorbing the shock and sheer gravity of the disclosure/details, but also he will be severely mourning the loss of the image and notion he has had of his Father to date.

    He honestly will need guidance in learning to cope with the new notion and person that is his Father and grappling with that, as unfortunately all he has ever known of his Father to date and known to be is no longer.

    In regards to your children asking after etc of their Grandfather, I would advise you to ring 'Brave Hearts' or look up their web page and speak to Hetty Johnson, as she will have some excellent advice, coping strategies and practical advice in regards to moving forward with what you have now.

    To you all.

  3. The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to Mod-Uniquey For This Useful Post:

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  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jodes35 View Post
    I'm with VP on this. MIL cannot be trusted. She has completely betrayed you, your DH and your children.
    Sorry but I agree. She has not only stood behind a man that is potentially a pedophile but has not told you and your husband the truth throughout all this. This is beyond denial. Even if she refused to believe it, she should of told the OP and her husband what was happening.

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  6. #34
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    Thanks Uniquey that is great advice. DH has a great respect for counselling/therapy and has benefited from it in the past so I feel sure he will be open to seeking help with this.

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  8. #35
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    I also couldn't read and not respond, I feel for you guys. You and your DH will get through this, am sending lots of positive thoughts your way xx

  9. #36
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    I don't think anyone is saying MIL did the right thing by not disclosing the truth...just that she has been put in a sh*tty, sh*tty position.

    I always feel this way about the wives in a scandal (ie. Hilary Clinton, Robert Hughes' wife, etc).

    It's just a crap situation all round OP, I feel for you.
    Don't feel too panicky about your little girls..they are innocent and seem to be unharmed. They can stay blissfully ignorant. xo

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  11. #37
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    I'm so sorry you are going through this OP. I can't begin to imagine what your family, your DH and you are found through.

    Must be so confronting

    I just don't have any advice but counseling. Can't imagine what one is supposed to do when they find out that a close family member is a paedophile.

    Does your DH have a sister? I just can't believe that MIL has only discover about her husband sexual orientation now tbh.
    I wouldn't trust her either. She has chosen to protect him before her children and grand children.

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    Hugs OP to you and your DH. I feel sick on your behalf. All the best wading through the hundreds of thoughts that must be swirling around in your head right now.

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    So sorry for what you are going through, and especially your husband, as it is his parent. Just wanted to offer my prayer for your family in this hard time.
    Hope counselling will kick off as soon as possible!

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    Quote Originally Posted by [Mod] Uniquey View Post
    OP, I am so sorry to hear you're all going through this, and feel for you all so much.

    If I can offer any practical advice, it's that I implore you to see if your poor Dh is open and receptive to speaking with a Counsellor, specifically a trained one in family therapy, as right now not only will he be absorbing the shock and sheer gravity of the disclosure/details, but also he will be severely mourning the loss of the image and notion he has had of his Father to date.

    He honestly will need guidance in learning to cope with the new notion and person that is his Father and grappling with that, as unfortunately all he has ever known of his Father to date and known to be is no longer.

    In regards to your children asking after etc of their Grandfather, I would advise you to ring 'Brave Hearts' or look up their web page and speak to Hetty Johnson, as she will have some excellent advice, coping strategies and practical advice in regards to moving forward with what you have now.

    To you all.
    Awesome, awesome advice there ^^^. You're doing just fine Devastated29


 

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