Just wondering how things are going? Hoping all went well with your DSD surgery.
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05-11-2014 02:47 #181
05-11-2014 14:53 #182Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2014
Hi everyone, thank you so much for all your thoughts; I'm sorry I haven't updated in a long time.
I'm very happy to report that SD's surgery went fantastically and she has recovered beautifully and much better/faster than anyone expected! Still a long road ahead of her but she's doing amazingly well and we even took her out to a restaurant for her birthday on Saturday
As for PILs, we kind of just majorly shut down. We are so exhausted and just...don't want to deal with it. We know we have to and we will but the thought makes me want to curl up in bed and never come out. I emailed FIL. After DH spoke to him and felt "relieved" I guess I wanted to hear his story for myself because DH was hazy on the details. I had to admit when I initially read it I also felt relieved because his version of events are not surprisingly quite different from the newspaper article. But of course after a couple of days the relief dissipated and the email just reads like a script. I don't believe him at all and even what he admits to is just awful. DH feels exactly the same. I just need to find the time and energy and emotional strength to contact the police.
To be honest, DH and I haven't really talked about it in a couple of weeks. We mention it now and then but nothing really. FIL did message DH to tell him that his parole officer might be in touch to see if he has been around our children. Anyway, SIL will be arriving in a month or so for Christmas (she lives overseas) so we are going to have to deal with it pretty soon.
I feel pretty useless for not dealing with it yet but I am just so exhausted!
05-11-2014 15:28 #183
Thanks for updating us all
I can't blame you for not wanting to discuss it. There are certainly no rules on how the heck you are supposed to deal with such a situation.
All you can do is handle it the best way you can, and put your own little family first.
05-11-2014 16:10 #184Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2014
05-11-2014 16:51 #185
Do what feels right and just till without as it all evolves and unravels xxx
05-11-2014 19:19 #186
Thanks for the update. It's a pretty crappy situation which ever way you look at it. It's not surprising you feel the need to pretend it's not happening.
Im glad the surgery and recovery has gone well though.
16-11-2014 20:18 #187
Hi again everyone, decided to start using my regular username again as I can't be bothered logging in and out every time I see something else I want to comment on! I suppose the shock has worn off now too so there's no need for an alias. This is our life now.
MIL sent us a letter saying everything she'd already said, how sorry she is, how she doesn't understand it etc. Also said they had both considered suicide. That's nice. She messaged DH a few days ago too just saying she hopes we are ok etc.
It's just not getting any easier. We are ok...we're strong and very much in love. We have a wonderful day to day life and our girls bring us so much joy (and frustration and exhaustion of course). But it's just constantly hanging over us and like anytime I forget about it it just smacks me in the face again.
SIL gets here in a month which is filling me with anxiety. We don't know what to expect or do? As far as we know she has still not read the article and is just believing whatever they have told her. She comments on social media like nothing has happened and I just don't know what to do. I want to see her but the thought of pretending like nothing has happened makes me feel sick. She doesn't want to know though so what can we even say?
Does anyone know how much it costs to get a court transcript?
16-11-2014 20:26 #188
I have no advice about the court stuff but have to say again how proud I am of you and your little family. You're doing a great job and even if it doesn't feel like it at times you're all very brave. Best of luck. Xx
16-11-2014 20:31 #189
Oh GM I'm so sorry. All I can suggest is keep pouring your love and attention to your DH and your girls. You can't control how your SIL chooses to deal, and you certainly can't be wasting your time worrying about your former inlaws.
I hope you are feeling better soon.
16-11-2014 20:31 #190
Big hugs, boy your mil is a piece of work
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