I have a 2yo DS and an 8 month old DD and have just found myself UTD. It was a total shock as I have required fertility help for both other pregnancies. We always only planned on 2 kids, I have PND managed by anti depressants, have just quit my high paying job to start a business which requires a lot of my time and DH and I are rebuilding our relationship after infidelity while I was pregnant with DD.
I really don't know what to do. I'm so scared of not coping with a 3rd, with 3 under 3, and our relationship may not survive another pregnancy. Financially we will struggle, a lot. I'm assuming we will be entitled to assistance from Centrelink but have no idea as we have not had the need in the past.
I guess what I am asking is, has anyone been in a similar position and what have you done? How hard is it going from 2 to 3? Especially with them all being so young? No judgement please, termination is a possibility but I just don't know how I feel about that at this stage.... Help!!
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02-10-2014 18:48 #1
Surprise pregnancy - need advice
03-10-2014 16:51 #2Member
- Join Date
- May 2014
I can only offer advice in one aspect. Think long and hard before termination. I did it and its not something I would ever do again. I am all for personal choice but for me if I could do that time over i wouldn't have terminated.
My sister struggled with finances with 3 but she is doing ok now.
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03-10-2014 17:23 #3
What a tough decision, I can certainly see why you'd be struggling to decide if 3 kids is right for your family. My only suggestion would be in addition to your reasons for not having another, make a list of the positives of having one more child. Just to give you some balance. And maybe try and address some your concerns with possible solutions.
FWIW I am pregnant with our third (planned) and I've had some major freak out moments - wtf have we done, are we doing the right thing, will I cope? etc. When I'm letting all the negatives get on top of me I try and remember why we decided to have a third in the first place (the big family, the sibling connections, the special extra person to love). I too have had a termination, however I have never had a moments regret because I know in my heart of hearts it was the right thing to do. If you don't know in your heart it's the right thing to do then I would advise against doing it.
i wish you all the best in your decision. Xx
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